What Would Coco Do?

Not That Cool

2008-06-24T12:47:00.001-05:00

New blog guys. Catch me here: http://notcoolchronicles.blogspot.com/

Y'all

2008-04-23T15:13:00.003-05:00

Yep it's me. My days are exponentially busier now, and it looks like it will be this way until late this year. I just don't have the time to devote to the blog, so I am now twittering when the mood strikes me, and I'm finding it pretty fun. So if you would like to follow me on Twitter, here I am:

Not That Cool

I may start up this blog again when my life is less mental, or I may create a new "Not That Cool" blog.

So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, goodbye.

Coco

Snowy Snow Day

2008-02-27T08:26:00.002-06:00

Oh what a pretty sight when I looked out of my window this morning. The kitties were very intrigued by the falling flakes, but not enough to want to get their paws out there.

The roads in my hood were rather clear, and I zipped through the school zone since school is out.

Man to be a kid in the south. Granted, the country ice-covered roads are a good reason to close the schools in wintry weather, but the kids in my hood have it made. For serious they could go to the movies if they have transportation and the inclination. They are not homebound.

Aaaahhhh I remember the snow days of my youth. I grew up in East Meadow, New York, which is extremely similar to the post-WWII suburbia, Levittown. All of the houses were uniform in design (although the siding on each house was different) and were situated on less than a quarter acre. I had tons of neighborhood friends. If we were not tooling around on the sidewalks like a big wheel posse, we were running from lawn to lawn through sprinklers.

And that brings me to winter fun. For school to be called out on account of snow, there needed to be six inches of the white stuff already on the ground. That made for some serious winter fun. Mom would bundle us up in our snow coats and pants, and we would be turned loose on the pristine snow. We made forts, had snowball fights, and made snow angles until we could not feel our extremities.

My dog Sandy also pitched in. He was magic, because he could make white snow turn yellow. Awesome.

If it was a snowy Saturday or Sunday, Dad might be at Eisenhower Park playing football with the other Dads. He always brought a caraffe of hot chocolate with him, but when he returned we were not allowed to partake of the leftovers. Dad sometimes (as in always) fortified his hot chocolate with a spirited beverage. Mom would make us some fresh hot chocolate when were sufficiently frozen from play, and would float some marshmallows on top for good measure.

Aaaaah to be a kid on a truly snowy snow day.

Yay Marion!

2008-02-25T09:03:00.005-06:00

Awwww yeah Marion Cotillard won an Oscar for Best Actress in La Vie En Rose. What a truly awesome movie it was. First of all, Edith Piaf was a kickass singer, and if you aren't touched by her music in some way I must deduce that you do not have a soul. La Vie En Rose also won the Oscar for Makeup. Extremely deserved y'all.

This is what Marion Cotillard looks like in real glamazon life:

Aaaaaand this is what she looked like in La Vie En Rose:

Jinkies y'all - methinks they used something a bit stronger than the Maybelline line.

The end of the movie killed - seriously. Edith/Marion performed "Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien," and it haunts me to this day. It was so extremely powerful. The song is, naturally, in French, but even if you don't understand the words you can still understand what she is saying from the emotion conveyed. That is the genius of Edith Piaf my friends.

Listen to the song on You Tube, this particular link is actually from the movie. Here is a translation of the lyrics in English:

No, nothing at all,
I regret nothing at all
Not the good, nor the bad.
It is all the same.
No, nothing at all, I have no regrets about anything.
It is paid, wiped away, forgotten.
I am not concerned with the past, with my memories.
I set fire to my pains and pleasures,I don’t need them anymore.
I have wiped away my loves, and my troubles.
Swept them all away.
I am starting again from zero.

No, nothing at all, I have no regrets
Because from today, my life, my happiness, everything,
Starts with you!

Awesome. Edith Piaf was so badass.

Two Weeks

2008-02-22T08:41:00.002-06:00

It has been two weeks since I've started taking medicine for hypothyroidism, and I must say that I'm feeling pretty darn good. My energy level has improved, my overall mood seems to be much more even, and Mr. Scale says that I have lost 4 pounds. My clothes have told me this too, because they feel ever so slightly looser.

yayayayyayayyayayya. It's not gonna be long before I can wear my pretty pretty suits again.

I go back to the doctor in early March, at which time he will probably up the dosage. If the tech takes my blood, I'm gonna make her use one of my new cool bandaids for sho.

Y'all - I cannot stress enough how thankful I am for going to the doctor. It was silly that I waited so long, because I did not realize how awful I felt until I finally didn't feel awful. If you feel out of sorts, lethargic, can't lose weight for anything, tell your doctor and get your blood tested. Life is too short not to feel good.

Undie Wishes and Tortellini Dreams

2008-02-21T13:21:00.005-06:00

I love love love the intertubes - because of the beauty known as the Google search, I found two things that I have wanted for a long long time.

Behold:

Ever since I was a kid, I have wanted days-the-week undies. I just thought they were super fun, and I still do. I have been searching for them for years, and was even thinking of designing my own line, but alas I found these.

They even have a bow affixed to each pair that matches the color of the word. RAWK!

Here's my other find:

Happy happy happy. It is IMPOSSIBLE to find good meat tortellini here in Tennessee. I have tried many brands and have been seriously disappointed. I used to buy this brand when I lived in New York, and I just found out that Costco sells them if you order them online, and get them shipped to your business. The only problem is that Dear Husband works out of our home, so they cannot deliver there, and we cannot pick it up at the store. We have a friend that is a chef in his family restaurant, and Dear Husband thinks he can get it delivered there. I would make tortellini, but I seriously don't have the time. 10 pounds will last me forever. There is nothing better on a cold day than a steaming bowl of cappiletti (tortellini in broth) with a little parmesan sprinkled on top. NOM NOM NOM.

The intertubes are rad.

Coco's Cuisine

2008-02-19T09:02:00.005-06:00

Coco can throw down in the kitchen y'all. I enjoy entertaining and cooking a lot, but because of my busy schedule and my level of tiredness when I get home, the cuisine that comes out of my cucina has become more simple, and I do take shortcuts.

I am not suggesting that you watch Sandra Lee. She is a minion of Satan's cook. I cannot believe that they gave that fool a show. Let us never forget the dessert debacle she called the Kwanzaa cake:

Is that not the foulest thing you have ever seen? Just don't watch that show. It is pure evil.

One of my favorite time saving meals comes from the Bertoli line of skillet dinners.

My favorite is the chicken alla vodka & farfalle, and my husband loves the chicken florentine & farfalle. These are so extremely easy to make. You open the bag, throw the contents in a skillet or the microwave, and voila you have dinner. I also like that there is a goodly amount of veggies. This is a good, quick, balanced meal for a tired Coco to prepare. The vodka pasta has asparagus (yum) and the florentine one has spinach. My husband actually licks the plate (thankfully I only serve this when we are NOT having company). Of course with any creamy pasta dish, there are calories, but a cal-fest every now and then is okay, as long as you have a healthy diet in general.

Heh I sound like I am a shill for Bertoli, but trust me I am not. They have not given me any money, but I have sure given them a lot of my grocery dollars.

Coco's Quest for Things

2008-02-18T13:21:00.005-06:00

Good news on the band-aid front. During my lunch break today, I strolled over to the drug store and, after carefully looking over the band-aid selection, decided on a box of crayon band-aids.

The store had Dora the Explorer, Spiderman and other characters placed at child's eye-level so that they could cry and stomp until their parents bought them, but I could really give a honk about having them adhered to my body. Crayons are awesome, and I shall keep a couple in my purse when I have the need, and you'd better believe when I next go to the doctor, I shall demand that they use one of these Coco-sanctioned bandages if they take my blood.

This weekend went extremely well. Dear Husband shot a figure skating competition, and I manned the sales/computer downloading/customer service end of our operation. We were at the skating rink at 6 o-frigging clock in the morning on Saturday, and our day ended at 7 p.m. Although it was a long day, it went extremely fast because our table was hopping. We've done this gig for a few years now, and I was so happy that all the feedback we received about our service was goodness. Everyone loved the quality of Dear Husband's pictures, and our turnaround time on delivery is usually a week. All in all the weekend was a great success.

Our next skating gig is in early March in Chicago. We did this competition last year, and we did great so I'm sure this will be even better since the competiton has been extended from two to three days.

Dear Husband always wears his Zamboni hockey sweater to the competitions, because let's face it everyone thinks the Zamboni is rad, and everyone would like to drive one (myself included). So, since Dear Husband has awesome ice-themed attire, I decided that Coco deserved something fabulous. I performed all sorts of google searches for cool girl hockey jerseys, and what I turned up was disappointing to the max.

I mean c'mon. Why must women be banished to a land of pink and white? I cannot tell you how much this bores me. Coco does not approve. Therefore, I have decided that Dear Husband and I will do something I thought I would never do.

We will be matchy-matchy. It makes business sense, because since he is out on the ice, and I am behind the booth, the customers will realize that we are together, and plus I really dig the colors, and dammit girls can want to drive a Zamboni too. I bet it will look really boss with my tiara.

Happy Monday

2008-02-11T11:26:00.000-06:00

Yep people don't usually put those two words together, but it is indeed a happy Monday for Coco.

The nice people that clean my house did their thing this morning, so I will come home to carpet vacuum marks, toilet paper ends folded into upside-down triangles, and clean bathrooms. Joyous!

Dear Husband just called to say he booked a wedding in Chicago for September (field trip!) so yay I am looking forward to that. We do weddings all over the place, but we absolutely love Chicago, and try to go there at least once a year. We didn't do so good with Windy City trips in 2007, but this year is looking to be faboo.

Here's a picture he took of one of our bridal couples at "da Bean."

I am also celebrating because I feel good. I got a call from the doctor I saw not too long ago at 8:00 p.m. last Thursday (for serious how is THAT for service). He said my tests came back, and everything looked fine except for one thing that is extremely treatable. He said that I have no function in my thyroid, so I am now rawking the medicine. It should take a couple of weeks for it to fully kick in, but I am looking forward to feeling OUTSTANDING. No more lethargy for me, and my metabolism will be much improved, so there will be less Coco according to the scale and the fit of my clothing. I am so extremely glad that I went to the doctor. Words cannot express my feelings well enough.

This week/weekend are going to be busy busy busy! Dear Husband also shoots sports photography, and we are shooting a figure skating competition here in Nashville. Dear Husband shoots every single skater, and then we download his pictures to viewing stations for customers to buy. We've done this for a few years with great success, and we should bring in some nice cheddar this weekend. I run the computers and take care of customers since I am so awesome with the people. I think I might wear my tiara, because let's face it tiaras are just too wonderful to keep in one's closet.

Here's an example of his skating photography. She is a strong skater, and was skating extremely fast. Isn't it great?

So that should catch you up. I haven't been doing much in the creativity department. I've been more on a "getting-my-shit-together" kick recently. Once I get this domestic thing out of my system I will get back on track.

I can't think of a title

2008-02-01T08:47:00.000-06:00

I feel like writing, so here I am. This will probably be extremely random, but so is my life, so here goes.

I went to a general practitioner this week and got a physical. I was rather nervous at first, but the doctor was extremely wonderful. It was great to hear that my general health was good - they also took 4 vials of blood (um don't I need some?) and I got to pee in a cup, and I'll get those results shortly.

Y'all they took my blood and in return I got a cotton swab affixed with the tape that also removes skin. You know how that upsets me. Is it too much to ask for a friggin cool band aid? I am seriously going to have to buy some awesome ones, and keep them for such occasions.

Boo boo kisses - seriously how awesome are these. WANT!!!

I slept so extremely well that night, probably because I knew that I had done something excellent for my well being. I am proud of myself. I talk a good talk, but I am sorta bad about taking time for myself, and self care in general. But that will change.

Last night I went to a surprise birthday party for a dear friend. It was a small affair, but fun. I personally have never had a surprise birthday party, and don't really know how I would react. I am so used to doing things for others and not expecting much in return (I am a giver by nature) that I would probably cry (happy tears) but she took it in stride and had a pretty time.

Tonight Dear Husband have a night at home, but it will be a busy one. We are doing a rather exclusive bridal show at The Hermitage Hotel, so we will be preparing for that. Saturday morning and afternoon we will be at the show, that evening we have another party to attend, Sunday is church and Sunday afternoon will be spent with my family eating bratwurst cooked in beer with other acoutrements, as every patriot should do on Super Bowl Sunday.

Yep, random as promised.

Cocosicle

2008-01-28T10:00:00.001-06:00

I love the building I work in. It is a beautiful, turn-of-the 20th Century building in downtown Nashville. It has gorgeous brickwork and mouldings, and tall arched original windows. Seriously how many people can say they work in a bulding with a secret passage way? It is awesome I tells ya.

As I said earlier we have tall original windows. So tall that it would cost a blue ton of money to replace all of them, and hoo boy do we need new ones. These windows are single pane with practically no caulking. They are hella drafty, and I have one of these huge windows in my area.

Now usually I bear the winter rather well in my work world. With a cuppa tea by my side, and a space heater, I function okay.

Not today y'all. I got off the elevator and realized our heater was out. I think the reason our heater is out is because every other thing in our building is working well. Last week we had drama with our fax lines being down, but this morning we received word that they are now up and running. The reason for the loss of heat is obvious.

We have angered the building gremlins. I like to think they look like the gremlin above picture, because this little fella is from my favorite Bugs Bunny cartoon, and he has such jaunty hedgear on. I usually blame him when the computers are down, or if there is a sliver of paper in the nether regions of the copier, making it impossible to use, of course when I am running a deadline. So today the gremlin has struck our heating system. There is a technician here making a valiant effort to repair said unit, but without some offering to our gremlins, I am dubious his attempt will work.

So here I am, with my coat and scarf still on, a cuppa tea by my side, and my space heater working overtime to keep the blood circulating in my legs.

I have discovered that I have wonderful glove typing skills.

Dang I knew I should have brought soup for lunch. Alas.

Bad bad Coco

2008-01-25T13:54:00.000-06:00

Coco has been in a bit of a slump y'all. My most humble apologies for not posting more frequently. I guess my mood can be summed up with the following word:

ppppffffftttt

I'm just been sorta bored with everything recently. I don't know what's going on inside of me folks. I did something I swore I would never do last weekend.

I organized my closet and the overflow closet. Yep that's right, the most dreaded chore in my world was done last week. I tossed everything that was tired, worn out, or just plain tragic. All clothing items that I thought someone would like (that I would not be caught dead in) were boxed up for charity. There were already some things still in boxes, and I went through them. I found all of my gorgeous tailored suits that are two sizes too small. So, now that the overflow closet was purged of items I wanted to forget about, I put those suits on hangers, placed them in the overflow closet, and now have a purpose.

By golly I'm gonna fit into those suits. They will move into my main closet once I look great in them. Mine is a realistic goal. Two sizes is not a trip to the moon. I just need to get my posterior in gear. Since I am a total weiner when it comes to cold weather, the dreadmill is being converted from its present use as my husband's clothing hanger, and I have also bought a yoga DVD. I did it the other night, and it was great. The next day I felt muscles that thought I had forgotten about them. Oh hi hello muscles - long time no feel.

My wonderful place of employment's benefit package includes an annual physical, so I have made an appointment with a general practitioner that has been highly recommended. I haven't had a physical in forever, so this is an extremely good thing for me to do.

Y'all I'm just trying to get my shit together.

This weekend, in the spirit of trying to get my shit together, Saturday will be spent doing more organizing. I have boxes filled with random papers in my closet and bedstand. Said papers will be gone through. I will not be idle in front of TV on Saturday, but tonight I will be.

Tonight I will prepare a lovely salmon dinner, with a green veggie to torture Dear Husband and a starch that he will probably eat too much of, with wine. We will watch a strange French movie that Dear Husband put in my Netflix queue, and relax. Saturday night we have been invited to a party (FUN!), and then Sunday we will go to church.

I know this was random and long, but it was fun for me to type. So there.

Bastard Guacamole

2008-01-17T09:00:00.000-06:00

Super Bowl parties will happen shortly, and the mind goes to snacks (oh yeah and BEER) for the event. I am well known for something I call "avocado salsa." It can't really be called guacamole, because it is not mushed up like the traditional guacamole. This morning I came across a horrid recipe. I am not going to post the recipe. It disturbs me that it exists on the intertubes, and I shall not be a party to spreading it further. I shall simply put the ingredients below:

1-1/2 cups frozen peas, thawed
1 avocado
1/4 cup finely chopped red onion
1/4 cup chopped cilantro
1 tablespoon fresh lime juice
1-1/2 teaspoons finely chopped pickled jalapeño
1/2 teaspoon salt

Do y'all see what the first ingredient is? Peas.....friggin peas in guacamole. HELL NO. Peas are from the devil - they are what evil tastes like, and should be avoided at all costs. And now these little boogers are trying to sneak into guacamole? I am sure that the nutritionist freak/sadist that developed this recipe thought he/she had the best intentions, but this is just so not right. Yes, avocado is high in fat, but it is a good fat, and if you pair the dish with freshly baked wheat tortilla wedges (as I do) rather than greasy bagged tortilla chips, then you should not have to mess with the holy trinity of avocado, cilantro and lime (yes I know there are other ingredients - step off).

If you can't easily tell, I hate peas. It is the only vegetable I will not eat under any circumstances. A few months after I married my Dear Husband, he made split pea soup in my crock pot. HE FOULED MY CROCK POT WITH THE EVIL LEGUME. It was a bad scene when I came home from work and found out what he did. He hasn't made that mistake again, and we will celebrate our 14th wedding anniversary this year.

Anyhoo here's my recipe for avocado salsa. It is super easy, and I promise you it is always a big hit when it is served in my house:

1 chopped, seeded roma tomato
2 chopped semi-ripe avocado
1/4 cup chopped onion
1 finely chopped jalapeno pepper
1 teaspoon lime juice
1 tablespoon chopped fresh cilantro
1/2 teaspoon salt

Directions:

1. Combine all ingredients in small bowl.
2. Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate 1 hour before serving.

Coco Makes Jewelry

2008-01-16T09:31:00.000-06:00

Yep, I have changed mediums again. I am now into making jewelry, after not making much of anything for a couple of years. Here are some pictures of some jewelry I recently made.

Necklace:

Detail of necklace:

Here's the bracelet that goes with it:

I love how this turned out. The colors are warm and sparkly. I made the bracelet free form with the hope that it would sorta look like rock candy. It pairs well with the necklace, since one of the strands in the necklace is made with the same seed bead colors, so it goes without looking too "matchy matchy." Wearing the same design on your neck and wrist is tragic and boring. Don't be that person!

Although you can't see it, the necklace is nicely finished with a spring clasp just as the bracelet is. Send me an e-mail if you are interested in purchasing!

My paintings in a store!

2008-01-08T11:27:00.000-06:00

As my readers know, a dear friend of mine put my paintings in her faboo store The Natural Home, in Asheville, North Carolina. Here's a picture of the gorgeous display she created.

I absolutely adore the way that she placed them. I hope they all go to happy homes!

Buh bye 2007

2008-01-02T09:38:00.000-06:00

I had all sorts of time off during this holiday season, thanks to the super awesome, generous place where I work. When I am off, I rarely touch the computer, since I stare at one every single work day, so that is the excuse I am using for the lack of posting.

I know alot of bloggers are doing their "Wow - 2007 blah blah" retrospective posts, but I will not bore you with that. There was some goodness for me last year, and there were things that sucked. 2007 is done, and we are now in 2008. Resolutions blow, so I'm not going to make any.

I had a fantastic holiday break. It consisted of me and Dear Husband, mostly in the house, being vegetables. I cooked, I painted, I did seriously useful things around the house, and most importantly I decompressed. It seems like my life is always jam-packed with things to do. My vacations are spent mostly traveling to out-of-town weddings to shoot with Dear Husband, so having time lounging around the house is an extreme luxury.

I enjoyed lazy afternoons with Scooter doing her best impression of a purring hot water bottle on my lap.

New Year's Eve was spent with our friends Tim and Carla. Carla made us a fantastic Mexican dinner, and really strong Margaritas. Then we played dominoes (FUN!!!) until the ball dropped, and of course Carla and I were wearing our tiaras the entire time.

We got home around 2:00 in the morning, and were awakened mid-morning by some other friends inviting us out to Cracker Barrell for breakfast. There's not better hangover cure than a fried breakfast, so Dear Husband and I got ready in lightning speed, and we had a super nummy breakfast with good friends. Upon returning to the house I did laundry (or I was going to have to go commando the next day) and started working on my next painting. I am really digging the idea of doing funky roosters - lots of color and motion, but we shall see.

Last night we dined at my brother-in-law's house. The food was delicious (especially since I did not have to cook - YAY) and then we watched the most dreadful movie I have seen ever. For serious I am ashamed to even mention what movie it was, but alas it was the movie that was offered, so there I sat. Granted, I did laugh a few times, but mostly because the bad taste represented on screen was beyond comprehension, and the only thing that I coud do was laugh.

And now I am back in the swing of things. Today feels weird. The calendar says it is a Wednesday but I am having a hard time believing that fact, since it totally feels like a Monday, but I am happy that it is another short week, and look forward to another lovely weekend.

p.s. I finished my last work in my flower vase series. This is a bigger piece - I think 12 x 14. I've decided to keep this one. Dear Husband wired the back for hanging, and then did so in our bedroom. I absolutely love it.

The Cookie is Wise

2007-12-21T13:57:00.000-06:00

Yesterday we had the office Christmas luncheon. We had P.F. Chang's to celebrate the merry time. It was delish, and a wonderful break from the usual meat-heavy holiday fare that is consumed this time of year.

So, of course, there were fortune cookies. Mine said "Your creativity takes you to great heights." Y'all the cookie is so very wise, for it has already come true. As my readers know, my dear friend owns a shop in Asheville. Asheville is in the mountains of North Carolina, so that makes Asheville "high." (Okay so there is also talk that marijuana grows wild in some surrounding areas, but I am getting off track.) She put my paintings out today, and two sold in the first hour! I cannot tell you how happy this news made me, and even now I feel giddy. Up to this time, all of my paintings were commissioned, or I made them to give as gifts to special friends. It is a great and strange feeling to know that my paintings are being enjoyed by people that I haven't met. I hope they love them as much as I loved creating them.

Now if the dang cookie will tell me the right numbers for the Powerball drawing, I will be golden.

The Land of Misfit Projects

2007-12-18T08:32:00.001-06:00

I don't know what is wrong with me, but recently I have noticed a disturbing trend.

I have been completing projects that have been hanging over me, staring at me, yes even mocking me for many moons.

For example, I made my bosses very nice hand knit scarves for their Christmas presents. Our party is on Thursday so there was a deadline for serious.

Said scarves were completed on Saturday, and wrapped with care. Record time y'all.

Then last night I did some mending that I had been ignoring for over a year. Last night those garments were put back in the closet in their rightful place. Unheard of. How am I supposed to function without dodging that pile?

There is one project that is looming that I am not sure I will ever have the strength to do.

The dreaded editing of one's wardrobe.

I know that if you haven't worn something in over a year, the chances are pretty slim that you will not wear it. I have quite a few garments that fall into that category, and some garments that just don't fit anymore. I keep telling myself that yes, I will go on a diet, I will get motivated to exercise regularly, I will get a tapeworm, but alas these things have not happened. I would gain so so much closet real estate if I did this task. Y'all if you ever hear me say that I have done this I'll probably be committed to a padded room shortly thereafter.

But I am being realistic. This project will be done just as soon as I win the powerball, and I can hire Tim Gunn to be my bestest friend and shopping buddy.

I'm in the mood for bread

2007-12-14T10:19:00.001-06:00

Dear Husband is on his way out to the east coast for a shoot. Although I hate it when he is away, having a precious Saturday to myself gives me time to do things that I usually don't have time to do.

I'm gonna make bread products.

I have the yeast, the flour and the inclination, so I'm going for it. Plus the smell of anything yeasty baking in your oven is the best house perfume ever.

So what am I making do you ask? I'm gonna make bagels, and if I am not too exhausted from that I might even make taralli. Taralli are basically Italian pretzels, and they are so fabulous. When I went to school in Italy, I first stayed with my traveling mate's Nonna (grandmother) in southern Italy. She gave us a bag of homemade taralli for our train trip to school in Perugia, and I'm pretty sure I inhaled the whole bag. Any savory or kicky spice is a wonderful accompaniment to taralli. Hers were flavored with rosemary. I'm going to make a batch with rosemary and another with crushed red pepper. These are so great with a glass of wine

So it will be just me, the kitties, flicks that my husband would never want to see (of the chick variety sans a lot of shit blowing up) and a whole lot of bread products this weekend.

Scooter and the Tree

2007-12-13T08:45:00.000-06:00

Here we see Scooter, perched on the sofa by the tree. Usually she has her body turned around, so that she can see the tree, and all the shiny things that she would like to claim as her own. She did snag some silver beads, and promptly hid them under the tree skirt for future playtime. Although it is a lot of work, I really do dig how my tree turns out. It is filled with ornaments I love, whether they are vintage glass from my parents, or new ones that Dear Husband and I have collected on our travels. The room always feels so nekkid when I have to take the tree down, so I will enjoy the prettyness whilst I can.

In other news I have caught a sniffle.....again. I'm really getting tired of all these cooties. I don't understand it y'all. I take my vitamins, drink water like a fish, eat my veggies and fruits, and still I get sick. So unfair. Since my head is all clogged up, I am rocking the decongestant. We shall see if Eugenia decides to pay me a visit.

Hose the House in Christmas Cheer

2007-12-07T08:40:00.000-06:00

Okay with my painting frenzy done, it is time to pay attention to other things. I'm sure the Southern Stepford Borg is wondering why my house was not festooned in holiday spirit the day after Thanksgiving, as most of those robot houses were, but they can bite me.

Tonight Dear Husband and I will attend a Christmas Party, and tomorrow hoo boy I will decorate the house. Now it will not look like we let elves on caffeine loose in the house, but it will look super purty. Dear Husband has some clients coming over next week, and we do not want them to think that we are present day grinches.

My cats will do their part to help.

Scooter is fascinated with cardboard boxes, and I will have so many in the living room tomorrow that I could build a pretty bitchin' fort. I'm sure she will figure out how to shimmy her robust self into some open cardboard crevice, and then I will hear muffled kitty noises, and try to figure out where the honk she wound up. Once the tree is up, she will steal the silver bead strands I use instead of tinsel, and they will be in all sorts of rooms, just waiting for a unsocked human foot to step on.

Inky is not so much into the whole tree thing anymore, but she does like curling up on the tree skirt - that is until the interloper presents get in her way. Now, if the tree had garlands of crunchy cat food, I'm sure she would be all about it, but yeah not so much. In her younger days, she had a penchant for chomping these funky, shiny wise men that graced my family tree, but so far she has not found any other worthy ornament opponent to pique her interest.

So that will be Saturday. Saturday night I will cook a lovely roasted chicken dinner, and enjoy the purtyness that is a house hosed in Christmas cheer.

Flowers on the Brain

2007-12-06T08:42:00.000-06:00

Aaaaaand here are the last four paintings that will go to my friends store in time for Christmas shopping.

I am extremely pleased with how they turned out. These are 4"x12" and all the paintings I have shown on my blog are "gallery wrapped," which means the canvas continues around the side of the painting. On these particular works, I painted the color of the flower on the face of the canvas as the border color, so they all looked very finished, happy and bright.

So tonight I shall carefully wrap my paintings, and they will be delivered to my dear friend on Friday. As luck would have it, she will be in Nashville for a party. Yay for no shipping costs! I cannot wait to see these on display in her store.

It will be strange not to be surrounded by these 16 paintings. The corner of my living room where my easel resides has been an explosion of colorful flowers for so long. I will be sad to see them go, but happy to know that others will be able to enjoy them. Once these little guys have left, I shall return to working on my big floral work. It is 12"x14" (maybe bigger) and the background color is in shades of blue. I used my knife to apply the color, so there is a really cool texture going on. I think after this, I will have the flowers out of my system. Then on to the next series!

More Painting

2007-12-03T09:56:00.001-06:00

Yep I am still in serious painting mode. Here are the works I recently completed.

These are all 5"x7":

And these are all 5"x5":

I love, love, love how these turned out. Still have to sign the flower head series, but since they are square canvases, I'm trying to figure out how I would like them oriented, since I always sign my works on the bottom right.

I have four more that I would like to work on before giving them to my friend for sale in her shop. The last four are, I think 3"x6" in dimension, so they are rectangular (duh). I have already applied the background color (a really pretty light blue) and I am thinking of doing four flowerheads per canvas, but the flowers will graduate deeper in color from left to right.

Painting Frenzy

2007-11-29T10:28:00.000-06:00

I have been painting like mad folks. A dear friend has asked me to supply some paintings for her store, so I have been working on a series of paintings. They are my circular flowers, all in different shaped vases, and the backgrounds of the paintings are painted in complimentary shades. The size on the series I'm doing right now is 5x7, but I also have some 5x5 canvases that I will work on this weekend. The square canvases will be of the flower heads by themselves.

I really love painting these flowers. I love the action of applying the paint to the canvas, and seeing the way the colors dance in the circular shapes of the flower petals. I can't seem to tear myself away from making the petals in circles. I have tried other shapes, but I get mad at them. There's something about the circle that just makes me happy. There's nothing wrong with painting happy my friends.

They will look somewhat similar in theme to the below painting, which I love, and am happy to report that the friend I gave it to loves it as well.

So this is my reason for lack of posting. It seems when my brain is focused on one creative endeavor, that is all I can do. I am totally excited about my paintings being sold, and people in different places enjoying them. This is a great time for me.

Catch up time

2007-11-26T14:08:00.000-06:00

Bad bad me. I have neglected my blog and my two whole fans (sorry y'all). Last week was pure madness. Dearest Father was in the hospital. He had a planned surgery, but you can never plan on the emotions and stress that accompany having a loved one in the hospital. He is now at home and recovering. God is good!

On top of this, Thanksgiving was last week (duh). We had a smaller crowd this year, and we were extremely bored of turkey, so I made prime rib with horseradish sauce. I know all of you that are enjoying your eighth turkey sandwich are mad jealous, and you should be, because it was just that dang good. The leftovers are buh bye, and tonight we will have a lovely fish dinner. I am so over meat right now.

On the creative front, I have two paintings to share with you. They are both gallery wrapped canvases, and I painted the sides of the painting as well, so they look mad cool. The floral work has red painted on the sides, and the apple painting is a continuation of what is on the face of the canvas. The floral was given to a dear friend for her birthday, and I think I shall keep the apple one. I just love how happy it is.

And that is me in a nutshell. Hope y'all had a lovely Thanksgiving

I Don't Dig the Pointed Stick

2007-11-15T11:36:00.000-06:00

I hate needles y'all. Now I know that no one is going to say "OMG I love needles, just like I love rainbows and fluffy bunnies." But seriously anyone that loves needles is probably a masochistic freak.

But yeah I hate needles. I remember as a child, in the doctor's office, two of my doctors nurses would have to pin me down, using their full bodies, to keep me on the table. Then they gave me a cool bandaid, and sometimes even a lollypop. Damn right you'd better give me a lolly and a cool bandaid you purveyors of pain.

So today me extremely super awesome firm had a nurse come in to dispense flu shots - free of charge. I told the nurse, before she gave me the shot, that I would require a cool bandaid (I have lollypops in my desk - so I am cool in that department). She did not have the cool bandaids. I told her that I required her to draw a smiley face on the boring bandaid. She did so, and then pulled out a smiley face sticker from her box of supplies. The shot did not hurt. The nurse brought her "A" game today, and I thanked her for the non-hurtyness.

You'd better believe I am wearing this sticker all day and night.

Sequins, feathers and drag queens oh my!

2007-11-12T08:38:00.000-06:00

Coco attended Artrageous this weekend with a group of faboo friends, and we had tons of fun. The theme this year, which is the 20th anniversary of the event, was "Oz" and hoo boy did some folks have fun with that! For example:

1. Did you know that Glinda the Good Witch is actually a 6'5" man with a huge pink dress, silver crown and a blond wig? No lie.
2. The flying monkeys live on, but now they dress much better.
3. Ruby red slippers are now made by Louboutin.
4. The Dorothy look knows no gender. One guy even made a pair of kicky overalls out of the blue and white gingham.

I believe our merry group went to six galleries in total before the after party. I say "believe" because at every stop there was drink, and food and more drink. Many people chartered limos or party buses for the evening (we had a bus that later turned into a stretch Hummer) and that was rather genius, because I was happy happy joy joy in no time from the spirits. Drinking and driving is for stupid people with a death wish y'all.

The after party was at City Hall, and I danced, danced, danced. I must say though, I have never heard as much Whitney Houston, Cher, and Madonna together in my live-long life. I also found it rather hilarious that there was a line for the men's room all night. NOW THEY KNOW HOW THE GIRLS FEEL!

We got home around 1:00 in the morning. Folks - I haven't seen 1:00 in the morning in a long time, and hoo boy Sunday morning was quite a treat. I was sore and had a mighty headache. We managed to get ourselves to church, but the rest of the day consisted of me on the couch with a cuppa tea. I did manage to cook a lovely roasted chicken dinner (best kitchen perfume ever) that evening, and am happy to report that my brain feels much improved today.

The Wizard of Oz was on the TV last night. How funny is that for timing!

No Soup for You.....Yet

2007-11-07T10:59:00.000-06:00

Ever since Dear Husband and I had the head cold sickness, I have been thinking about the perfect soup.

Do you know what cappelletti is friends? If not please let me introduce you. It is just the most perfect cold weather soup ever concocted.

It is also called tortellini in brodo (duh), and currently I would kill to find good meat tortellini, but said product evades me in Nashville. I have searched all the markets (except for Whole Foods, which just opened), and no one carries good meat tortellini. I do not consider Buitoni's filled pasta to be good.

Now when I lived in New York, there was an excellent frozen meat tortellini that was always to be found in our home freezer. Behold the beautiful tortellini below. I could buy this from a store in New York and get it shipped, but it would be REALLY expensive. The only way I could justify the expense is if the tortellini were dipped in 24 karat gold.

Oh to be in New York with an empty cooler. I would clean them out for serious. When I win the powerball, I shall charter a jet to New York, buy tortellini and bring it back here. No I am not sharing with you - this is my stash! Wait - what am I thinking? I'll just fly to the Emiglia Romagna region of Italy and visit all the women in the towns that will make it around Christmas time. My feet are firmly planted in the dirt that is reality....yep.

So, if I cannot find said tortellini, I will have to make it. I have never made pasta, much less a filled pasta, but I am obsessed, and hungry, and I want my soup already dammit.

Sometimes Mondays are the Bestest

2007-11-05T13:18:00.000-06:00

This is a happy Monday. It is happy because tonight I will go home to a clean house. Two very nice ladies show up every other Monday and do the chores that I absolutely hate to do. This mostly includes vacuuming and cleaning the bathrooms. The last time I tried to clean my own bathroom I injuried my right ass cheek. It's a long story, but you will be happy to know that I have recovered from the trauma. The nice ladies were hired shortly after this incident. Life is too short to smell like bleach and have ass pain.

It is also a happy Monday because I shan't cook this evening. Now, my faithful readers know that I dig cooking, but I also enjoy eating the cooking of others, and REALLY enjoy not doing the mountain of dirty pots and dishes I seem to create in the process. Tonight I shall go see the Wannabeatles at Mexicali Grill. I am in such a festive mood that I might even wear my tiara. What would be better than British music, Mexican food, and a fancy sparkly tiara? I can't think of anything that could be more faboo.

And the third reason it is happy is because I have gotten over my sickness. Eugenia the purple monkey seems to be nowhere in sight, but perhaps she will return if I get cooties in the future and am taking something soothing with Hydrocodone.

Best wishes to you for a happy Monday.

Say hello to my little frennnnn

2007-11-01T10:09:00.001-06:00

I have had a head cold this week. I am on a particularly FABULOUS decongestant right now, and although it gives me relief I do feel rather lightheaded and loopy.

It seems that I have a new cubicle-mate. She is a purple monkey. At first she said her name was oooOOOOeeeeEEEEaaaahhhAAAAHHH, but then I took another swig of my decongestant elixr and am now able to understand the monkey language. Her name is Eugenia, apparently I am the only one that is able to see her and hear her.

This place bores me, perhaps you should burn it.

Eugenia, normal people that like to get paychecks every two weeks to not burn their place of employment down.

But you are always complaining that it is too cold in your cubicle. A nice fire would warm things up.

Um no Eugenia, that is why I have a space heater.

Lemme check the wiring on that - it would be a shame if there was some spark that burnt this place down.

EUGENIA DON'T MAKE ME GET OUT THE SPRAY BOTTLE! Gosh, who knew invisible purple monkey assistants could be so difficult.

::I shall fling poo at her later for her insolence.::

We Entertain Robots

2007-10-30T11:58:00.000-06:00

Okay so if you have been a long time reader of my blog, you know that my neighbors are referred to as the Southern Stepford Borg. I have reason to believe that the goings on at my house have been a source of entertainment for their somewhat dull robot days.

Dear Husband works out of the house. He has clients come over all the time. Most of these clients are pretty brides-to-be. The SSB likes to congregate on each others lawns and chit chat, whilst their children run from lawn to lawn and have a grand time. So, they see a stream of ladies enter my house, exit after an hour or two, and then I come home around 6:00, do the obligatory wave, and enter the house.

They must think that there are a-doings transpiring in my house. This makes me chuckle, as it does Dear Husband, and I think it would be grand if we upgraded the entertainment value. If the SSB collective is not stimulated from time to time, they will never learn and become more human-like. Dear Husband and I have talked about the following possibilities.

1. Have a friend come over with her hair up, and then upon leaving ask her to take her hair down and toss it around so that it looks a bit disheveled.

2. Any sort of clothing adjustment on the porch.

3. A squirt or two of binaca after ringing the doorbell.

If we are not going to join the collective, we might as well entertain them.

The Promise of a Pretty Weekend

2007-10-26T08:45:00.000-05:00

Dear Husband and I have a wedding to shoot in Gatlinburg, Tennessee. I have been to Gatlinburg once, and although the company I was with was wonderful, I found that Gatlinburg itself was wayyyyy to touristy for my taste. So, when I heard that we were shooting a wedding out there in a chapel, I honestly did not know what to expect. I wasn't sure if said chapel was going to be some tragic redneck take on a Las Vegas chapel, but I was pleasantly surprised when Dear Husband forwarded me pictures of the venue.

Sorry that the image is so small, but it was the only one I could paste onto my entry. Seriously y'all, trust me when I say it could not be cuter if it was stacked to the rafters with kittens and puppies.

We are staying in a big cabin a short distance from the cabin with friends, the leaves are just starting to turn, the weather should be perfect, and Dear Husband is driving The Hott Car out there.

Did I ever tell you just how fabulous I look in this car? I already have a great pair of sunglasses, so now all I need is a gorgeous scarf (oh Hermes you will be mine some day) and I will look chic a la Grace Kelly (except with brown hair). On Sunday, we will tour the winding roads, including some of the Blue Ridge Parkway.

The promise of a pretty weekend.

Hepped Up on Goofballs or something

2007-10-25T12:46:00.000-05:00

Y'all I feel crazy.....like Britney Spears tied up in a sack with a pound of chicken-fried bacon crazy. I feel like I could type 100 words a minute straight out of my brain. Of course it would not be readable to anyone that did not understand gibberish, but it would be characters on a page.

I took a short lunch because I could not stand the thought of sitting quietly at my desk, reading a book, which is what I usually do at lunch. After eating, I went straight back to work, and did my filing.

You must understand something about me and filing. Filing is never done unless it is absolutely necessary - mostly so that I do not injure myself or others. Filing is done when the pile reaches an unholy and architecturally unsound height (bonus if said filing forms a meniscus).

Y'all I took a short lunch to do filing. Unheard of. Why did I do this?

I had a Diet Coke. I feel like I am hepped up on goofballs (you are super awesome if you get my reference by the way). I have been sans all forms of caffeine for well over a month. No tea, coffee, chocolate, carbonated drinks.....nothing.

But I really neeeeeeeded it today. I barely slept last night and my lunch was extremely lackluster, so I cracked one open.

Damn it was some sweet nectar, but yeah I feel like a crazy woman.....and therefore I blog.

The Tudors

2007-10-24T13:58:00.000-05:00

Apparently some folks in the U.K. are getting their knickers in a twist about the Showtime series The Tudors. They say that King Henry the Eighth would not have looked like Jonathan Rhys-Myers (um not many do - SWOON), the plotline had to be "dumbed down" for American viewers, and there are glaring anachronisms in the production (non-period coaches, radiators, asphalt).

Lemme 'splain something to y'all across the pond.

1. No one wants to see a carbon copy of Henry the Eighth on the screen. We've seen portraits of him in later life. Granted, he was not as portly in his early years, but I can't think of too many leading men that rock the red hair. He was not as pretty as Jonathan Rhys-Myers....so we shall keep him. Oh hi pretty boy....

2. Okay so the characters are referenced by easy to recognize names for us Americans. That does annoy me a bit, because I am a history buff, and consider The Wives of Henry VIII by Antonia Fraser to be one of my favorite books. I wish people would read more and be generally smarter, but alas I don't think that's going to happen any time soon with all the cable channels and video games that occupy so many hours of American free time.

3. Regarding the anachronisms - asphalt can easily be covered by dirt. A radiator can be covered by furniture or a really spectacular shot of Jonathan Rhys-Myers ass, so that no one even notices the anachronism. Someone was not doing their job. They obviously need to include more gratuitous ass shots in the production.

Y'all just need to get a pint at the pub and chill.

Purse Porn

2007-10-22T12:53:00.000-05:00

My two whole faithful readers know that I have much love for Stein Mart. They have the bestest accessories, wonderful sales, and sometimes I score some really cute boob shirts. Y'all know what I'm talking about, so don't lie to yourself.

Anyhoooooo I'm getting off topic. When I am need of new purses, I always hit the 'Mart, and am never disappointed. This time I scored a faboo Franco Sarto bag. It is exactly like this picture, except in a lovely shade of olive green.

The best part was the price. After sales discount and 20% coupon for being a preferred customer (sale whore), the purse was $10.

Y'all I said $10 for a designer purse! I also got two more bags, one in a pretty ivory and another in a milk chocolate brown leather (not designer but extremely fab) for $10 each as well. Man oh man I heart a good deal, and my random things-I-can't-live-without are happy in their new home.

Oh the extreme joy in my heart - this calls for a haiku:

I go to the 'Mart
On safari for new purse
I see you and grab.

Shoppers eye you
Wishing you were in their hands
Step off it is mine.

They try to find same
Alas you were only one
Heh I win loser.

A Letter that Won't Be Read

2007-10-17T08:36:00.000-05:00

Dear Creepy Sketchy Dewd that Likes to Ambush:

Oh hi hello. I'm the person that parks in the garage on the alley. The only way to get to my office is to use said alley, and I understand that you live there, and you have the right to talk to whomever you want, and go wherever you please. I'm cool with that - really.

That doesn't mean that I have to talk to you Creepy Sketchy Dewd.

You and I both know there are plenty of nooks and crannies where a person can hide, and wait in loquatious ambush for some unsuspecting soul. I remember that one time I turned the blind corner, and you were there and tried to engage me in conversation....which was all one sided on your part, and I got the honk away as soon as I can. No, I didn't really want to hear about the blow-up doll that your sketchy friends got you for your birthday. Did I mention that you are just plain creepy?

I don't know your situation, just as you don't know mine. I do not know how you will react if I tell you to back the frack off, since you live there and I have to pass by you when you are lurking about. So, I shall employ my sketch-warding off tactic, which is to pretend that I am engaged in conversation on the phone, and therefore you will have no opportunity to engage me in conversation.

Margaritas and Mod Music

2007-10-16T08:48:00.000-05:00

I don't want to tell you about this. I want to keep it a secret, but I don't think it is really much of a secret considering the robust number of people that were in attendance last night.

Do you like Mexican food? Of course you do!

Do you dig the Beatles? Who doesn't?

Y'all need to check out The WannaBeatles. They perform bi-monthly at The Mexicali Grill, which is where I saw them last night. I cannot begin to tell you how much fun I had. Okay yes.....I had many margaritas under my belt, but it was so much fun singing along to all of those wonderful songs, performed by fabulous musicians, whilst eating my chips and salsa.

British music in a Mexican restaurant? You betcha it goes together! America is a great melting pot.....embrace the meltyness. And now I am thinking of queso.....oh and another margarita.

A haiku for today

2007-09-27T16:07:00.001-05:00

Rain beating on roof.
Do I want to be awake?
Dang I like payday.

Day end already.
I want to go home and play.
Oh yeah and drink some.

Netflix in mailbox.
Pppfffttt to Grey's Anatomy.
Mark Wahlberg tonight!

Sunsilk is so fab

2007-09-25T10:14:00.000-05:00

Oh the wars us ladies fight against our hair. We color it, straighten it, curl it, contort it into all sorts of fanciful designs, and then wonder why it has the texture of straw. I have found an affordable weapon against the damage we do to our tresses.

I recently got free samples from Sunsilk, from their "Straighten Up" collection. If you are not sure which product would best suit your hair, you can take a quiz and they will send you samples and coupons.

My hair is thick, long and wavy. During the work week, I usually put it back in a ponytail or up in a modified french twist. Today I am at work, and actually wearing my hair down, because it looks just that great. Also, the product smells really fresh and wonderful, but not like you have been hosed in scent.

Y'all know that I do not endorse products that I do not believe in, but this stuff is fab. Go get some!

Wedding observations

2007-09-24T08:55:00.000-05:00

Dear Husband mostly photographs weddings. I present the following observations from recent weddings that we have shot:

1. Show up at your rehearsal on time. Dear Husband and I were at a recent rehearsal for the 5:30 start. The bride did not show up until an hour later, with no apologies given to the pastor, or anyone else patiently waiting. The groom showed up an hour and a half late, and was intoxicated to boot. I have never seen such disrespect for a wedding ceremony, the pastor, and most especially his bride. It was shocking.

2. Instead of the traditional guest book, which will get stuck in a box somewhere in a forgotten corner of your closet, consider having guests sign smooth river stones with a permanent marker. One recent wedding we shot in Virginia did this, and intended on placing the signed stones around a tree in their yard. If you choose not to expose the rocks to the elements, you could always arrange them in a pretty bowl as a fun decorative element in your house.

3. If you are planning an outdoor wedding, don't you dare boo-hoo about the weather. Summer outdoor weddings in Tennessee, or anywhere for that matter unless you live up near Canada, are going to be ass-hot. Brides - take this into consideration when you choose your dress. That princess dress with yards of Italian satin and layers of tulle may be super pretty, but it is also super heavy, and you will sweat. Think light, airy, and perhaps something made of silk. I feel particulary sorry for grooms and groomsmen at these events. Most often, they are in black rental tuxes, made out of a tragic non-breathable material with the woefully painful black rental shoes. At a recent east-coast wedding, set at a yacht club, the men had lightweight linen suits on, with light blue shirts, and (I think) tan or light brown shoes. They looked classy and were comfortable, and it showed in the pictures.

4. Favors can be expensive. Instead of chocolates, candles or those impossibly inedible jordan almonds, consider a donation to a favorite charity. At a wedding two weeks ago, the couple had pink rubber bracelets at each place setting with a tasteful card, saying that in lieu of favors, the couple had made a donation to the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer fund. It thought that was a wonderful idea.

We have shot well over 2,000 weddings, and I have a ton of stories and tips, but those are the ones that stick out in my brain the most. :-)

Luciano e morto

2007-09-06T08:32:00.000-05:00

Yes. Luciano has passed. I cannot begin to tell you how much his music is and was in my life. As a child, I clearly remember waking up to the smell on a weekend morning of garlic, onions, olive oil and other lovely spices simmering in a pot. That's what a weekend morning smells like in my childhood memories. My father would add tomatoes to that potion, and the huge pot of tomato sauce would slowly simmer on the stove all day on a Saturday, with a loaf of bread on the counter beside it. We would occasionally take a chunk of bread, dip it in the sauce, and enjoy. Eventually, that sauce would make it onto some pasta, or perhaps chicken parmesan, and Luciano's music would be playing in the background.

Or, whenever we would go to my Aunt Flavia's house (my father's sister), she would be playing Italian folk music, and there would invariably be some Luciano selections in there for good measure. We would sit around her huge dining room table in Queens, New York, the adults would be merry with wine, and it was just fun.

Yes....I know that lots of people are familiar with the older Pavarotti because of the popularity of the Three Tenors. But, if that is all you know of his voice, I encourage you to go to the library, or to your local music store, and get a CD of his earlier work. One of my favorite works of his is "Ah! Mes amis" from Donizetti's La Fille du Regiment. He is able to hit these high C's in close repitition. Absolutely beautiful, no cracking, effortless. Nessun Dorma is another favorite....oh and Una Furtiva Lagrima. Oh man....there are just too many. Start listening please.

Although he has mortally passed, his music will live on forever. Reposarsi nella pace Luciano.

Hangover Haiku

2007-08-31T13:34:00.001-05:00

Here is I haiku I penned today that sums up how I feel:

Bacchus you bastard
Wine melts away the hard day
Morning brings brain pain

The ibuprofen has kicked in though, and I am feeling much improved.

Um yeah I have been ignoring my blog. Sorry y'all. I have been making jewelry, and writing my novel, which I am happier with every time I write a section.

We do not have a wedding this weekend, so I am hopeful we will have a nice relaxing time at home. I hope to finish my latest painting this weekend. The trees are woefully void of leaves (much like our sad trees here in Tennessee) and then I will paint apples.

A dear friend, who resides in Franklin and is very active in the community, has asked Dear Husband and I to volunteer as wine pourers for an event called Wine Down Main Street, which takes place on November 2. It sounds like a ton of fun, and I am really looking forward to it. Here is more info on the event.

Creative Coco

2007-08-08T14:05:00.000-05:00

I can't begin to tell you how much I love being creative. I try to be creative in every part of my life.

1. I enjoy cooking - a lot. Entertaining 12 people? No problem. Do I want help? Yes only if that help is in the form of helping yourself to a nice glass of wine, and being entertained whilst I am in the kitchen with my space unfettered.

2. I am working on a new painting. It is a landscape that features an apple orchard. I have a dear friend that is looking at opening a business, and she is interested in selling my paintings at said business. It is a touristy town, and she said bears, apples and items of the like are big sellers. So I'm working on what I want my apples to look like.

3. I have fleshed out the introduction, and the first two chapters of my book. Y'all I cannot begin to tell you how excited I am about this particular creative pursuit. Everyone that I have shown my outline to has had great things to say. A major part of the book revolves around the building I work in, which is a historic building in downtown Nashville with an extremely colorful past. Write about what you know. Well, I know tons about early 20th Century history, I love Nashville and I love this building. The building has 15' high original windows, gorgeous woodwork, original huge doors with fancy knobs, and even a secret passageway. How could I not write about this? Wouldn't it be funny if my book took off, and people wanted a tour of the building? Whoa that would be crazy, but in a good way.

It is my hope and prayer that someday I can be full-time creative. It will happen at the right and perfect time. I know it will.

Yes I Know

2007-08-06T08:39:00.000-05:00

Shame on me for ignoring you dear blog. It has been entirely too long, but you know I have been busy. The wedding season is going full tilt right now, and in my free time I have been opting to paint rather than write here.

Plus I am super excited about another project going on right now. I have completed my outline for my first novel, and am really pumped about it. The novel combines many loves - early 20th Century history, Nashville, and a bit of humor thrown in for good measure. Although I adore books by Sophie Kinsella and the like, this work is going to be very original. It is not about girls shopping, or their fear of being alone and eventually eaten by a pack of wild dogs. I started writing the actual book this weekend, and boy was it fun. I felt so creatively alive inside - if that makes any sense at all. I really think that if I did not have all of my creative pursuits I would go quite mad, but hey there are tons of wacko artists out there, so perhaps madness would help the creative juices.

So there is my excuse. Keep checking back for updates. I'll be around.

The week that was

2007-07-06T14:27:00.000-05:00

So yes this was a crazy week, courtesy of Independence Day falling on a Wednesday.

Tuesday felt like Friday night, so I had Friday night sorta fun on that eve. Oh hi hello Merlot!
Then on Independence Day, I went to two parties (awwww yeah no cooking) and then I was sad because Wednesday felt like a Sunday night, and I there was no Saturday sort of a buffer.

Then yesterday and today felt like Monday and Tuesday, but tonight is really Friday, so I am again in the partying mood.

So what would Coco do? Coco and Dear Husband shall dine out tonight at Cabana. I shan't wear my tiara, so I doubt anyone will recognize me. It's a lovely place to go on a balmy Summer night, and we have precious few weekends to ourselves, so there ya go. Dear Husband does not have a wedding to shoot on Saturday, but the next two weekends are crazy, so we shall be sure to have a relaxing, pretty time tonight.

Tomorrow hopefully will feel like a Saturday, but it will feel like a weird Saturday for me because our usual Saturday is a workday, but not this Saturday. I will continue work on a new painting (a hopefully pretty 12x18 abstract sorta landscape), and then Dear Husband and I have been invited to a party on Saturday night. Then Sunday will be church, and hopefully Coco's brain will be back in normal week mode. Fat chance of that happening - the words "Coco" and "normal" are not friends with each other.

I hope I have confused my dear readers - it is good for the creative side of your noggin.

Coco Does Domestic

2007-07-02T10:47:00.000-05:00

Dear Husband pinched a nerve in his back earlier last week, so he spent Saturday convalescing. This is very unusual for him, since he usually works 14 hours a day. Thankfully we did not have a wedding this weekend, so even though he was feeling poorly, I am glad that he was at least resting.

Coco was very domestic this weekend. No, I did not wrestle with the weeds, because there was so much that needed to be done in the house (yep I will use any excuse I can).

So what did Coco do?

Coco did lots of laundry, dear husband was on the verge of going commando if I did not do some, and the hamper at a very unstable meniscus, so it was just time.

Then I did the grocery shopping (yeah I hate going grocery shopping too). Since it was a Saturday, and I was not rushing through the market one night after work, I took my time, got some great deals and now our pantry, fridge and fruit blows are well stocked. That evening I cooked a lovely pork tenderloin with couscous and green beans. I enjoyed the meal with a lovely Pinot Grigio. Since dear husband was on medicine for his back, he had iced tea.

I also painted on my commissioned work, and actually finished it up on Sunday. I think it turned out great, and when I showed to my fellow co-worker/patron, he really liked it and is very excited to bring it home and surprise his wife and little baby girl.

Sunday was spent mostly at church, we had the leftover pork for lunch, and I put away all of my work clothing that had accumulated in a pile for the past week. I have such a bad habit about coming home, kicking off my heels and work attire, and leaving the shoes in a dangerous pointy pile and the clothing on a butler thingy that really must hate me because of how I overburden it.

Anyhoo when I climbed into bed last night, with Dear Husband feeling much improved, knowing that my cupboards were full, my linens were fresh, and my closet was tidy I was well pleased with myself.

To Weed or Not to Weed

2007-06-29T10:26:00.000-05:00

The weekend is upon us. If you have been a faithful reader of my blog (all two of you) you know that Mother Nature and I have a love/hate relationship.

I love that Mother Nature waters my lawn (more in recent days) and my flowers are growing.

But then there is the bad stuff.

1. During one particular watering incident, she made me slip and fall on my booty, and I managed to break one of my favorite red flip-flops.

2. Those darn bugs that she allows to live in my garden beds find me rather delicious.

3. The dang weeds have more defenses than pretty flowers. They always have either thorns, extensive root systems, or are just tough as nails.

So if the weather is fair on Saturday morning, when the front of my house is in full shade, that is where I will be. If it is raining, I shall be indoors, painting my latest commission, listening to my cool French jazz cds.

I think you know what sorta weather I am rooting for.

Coco Paints Again

2007-06-26T10:02:00.000-05:00

I got a call from my bro-in-law yesterday afternoon - he said that they were going to have cake and pie in celebration of my sister's birthday on Tuesday night.

Yep tonight. So I got to thinking - I knew there was no time to shop, and I really did not want to get her a gift certificate, so I decided to paint her something. Sister and I have very different styles, but I knew she would dig this:

She has a t-shirt with a design similar to this on it, and she likes quirky, macabre things, so I think she will enjoy this. I must say that I really enjoyed painting this. I liked the fact that I could produce something I was proud of that isn't necessarily in my genre. It's good practice for future commissions right?

Mother Nature was quite the saucy minx last night. Just as I squeezed my colors onto my pallete my living room (oh yeah and the rest of the house) went dark. Painting in the dark is not really an optimal environment, but there is a big window by my easel, so I cranked open the blinds, and was able to work until the lights came on about 5 minutes later. Good thing those lights came on. If I missed Hell's Kitchen I was going to be super-pissed. I just love it when that potty mouth Gordon Ramsay calls his minions "donkeys" hehehhehe.

Coco's First Paid Commission

2007-06-25T13:32:00.000-05:00

Y'all I am so pumped. I have been commissioned to do a painting for a fellow co-worker. He saw the fairy painting I did (BTW my friend ADORED it), and he asked me to do a painting for his baby daughter's room.

It will be 12x16, and it will feature a frog prince. The baby's name will be flanked by these really cute dragonflies. The baby's room is decorated in this theme, so I was able to sketch out the painting with great ease. I'm giving him a great deal because he is just a generally awesome person, and will probably sink the money into getting more art supplies for future works.

Speaking of future works, I have a dear friend that is considering buying a business where she lives, and if she does buy this business, she said she would like to sell my paintings. They will be small in scale (like 4x6), but she thinks that anything with apples, mountains, bears would sell really well. I already have some ideas....I just need the time!

I cannot tell you how awesome it would be for me to get paid for being creative. It would be a dream come true!

Coco Strips in the Car!

2007-06-18T14:52:00.000-05:00

As mentioned in my last entry, Dear Husband and I shot a wedding on the east coast this weekend.....Norfolk, Virginia to be exact. We broke our journey in Williamsburg to tend to some errands, and then continued along 1-64 towards Norfolk with two hours to spare before the wedding rehearsal.

We were 1/2 hour late to the rehearsal. Folks.....we are NEVER late to a wedding rehearsal. In fact, we are usually the first people to arrive. We always attend the wedding rehearsals, because then we figure out who everyone is, where everyone will be standing, and all the parties involved are generally more comfortable and relaxed on the wedding day after we have spent time with them. Familiarity is a good thing.

In a place I like to call Fantasy land, also known as Google Maps, the journey should take about 45 minutes. Allow me to introduce you to the capitol of Fantasy Land, the Hampton Roads Bridge Tunnel.

Anyone that thinks they can go the posted speed limit of 55 m.p.h. is a flipping liar. About 30 miles away from our destination, every car stops, and we creep along at the speed of a glacier. The HRBT is notorious for backing up for no reason before the tunnel opening, but 30 miles out is just crazy. Once you reach the other side, the traffic clears up like nothing ever happened. Are people afraid of the dark? I think so.

Naturally, Dear Husband and I were mental. The great irony of this is that the church is JUST on the other side of the bridge. We figured if we were lucky, we would make it in time to check into our hotel, do a quick change into our nice outfits, and be at the church on time.

Yeah we were so wrong. When we realized we would have to check in after the rehearsal, we decided that we had to change outfits in the car. Dear Husband already had a nice silk button-down shirt on, so he just had to change pants in 5 m.p.h. traffic, and put on his dress shoes and socks. No problem there.

Y'all Coco is not an exhibitionist. Thankfully our luggage was in the back seat, and I was able to pull my outfit out of the garment bag, and changed my top with all the dexterity and modesty of a teenage girl changing in the gym locker room for the first time. After the shirt, the rest was easy, and not exposed to window glass.

In retrospect, it was a pretty funny experience for me. I've never had to do that before. So did Coco receive strange looks from any cars? Nope not one. I guess what happens on the HRBT stays on the HRBT. Except for now, because I just blogged about it. Oops.

Coco Paints

2007-06-13T13:16:00.001-05:00

So what do you get for the expectant mother that has (or could buy) everything? That's the query I was faced with recently. Dear husband and I have a friend that is expecting her second child, she has a thriving children's dentistry practice, an au pair for her 13 year old.....

You get my point - sistah girl has it going on!

I thought long and hard on what I should do, and I decided that a few packages of onesies (although extremely useful) would just not do, so I got out my paints, brushes and a new canvas, and made her a painting.

Didn't it turn out cute? I know I am not Rembrandt, but I think she will love it. The best gifts are the ones that come from your heart.

She is naming her baby "Rio." I can't help but think of Duran Duran when I think of that hehehhe. Dear husband and I have a wedding to shoot on the east coast this weekend, and will deliver this on our way out there. I can't wait to give this to her!

My shoes are out to get me

2007-05-25T13:42:00.000-05:00

I look really cute today. When I say cute, I mean fun, colorful, summer sorta cute that is still appropriate for a classy work environment.

Cute I tells ya.

I am, by nature, a klutz. I am a left-handed person in a right-handed person's world. Table corners jump out and bruise my legs. I have been known to take an inelegant tumble or two when my bosses slightly curled-at-the-corners oriental rug decides to trip me up. It's a hard life I live.

But these shoes take the cake. I could not find a picture of the exact shoe or color, but this is the general heel shape and strappy nature of the pair - although my shoes are a pretty aqua blue.

The brand is "Impo." I think it is relevant that the word "imp" is in there, because I think these shoes are possessed by a mischeivious little booger. Every single time I wear these shoes, I get tripped up in an unexpected manner, whether it is the demarcation line of the carpet/plastic-mat-under-office-chair-thingy, or my pant cuff, I always manage to make a spectacular fool of myself.

I, just now, almost took a spectacular dive, but was able to catch myself, and no one was even around to giggle.

If a klutz trips in the office, and no one sees it, did it really happen? As long as they are not readers of my blog (and no one at work knows about my blog), I say no.

Don't Skimp

2007-05-24T10:14:00.000-05:00

I'm all about being a good steward of assets, and I love a good deal - especially if I'm on a T.J. Maxx safari or something of the like, but there are certain things that a person should NEVER skimp on. I present the following list to you in no particular order.

1. Toilet paper. Don't ever buy the cheap stuff. You have one ass - be nice to it. Two ply and quilted all the way!

2. Wine. There are some very fine bottles around the $10 range. Find a liquor store that you like, and ask the purveyor for suggestions. They want your return business, and your money, and they will give you good advice. Boxed wines have come a long way, but don't buy that Franzia crap. It is Two Buck Chuck in a box.

3. Cheese. A fine cheese is a beautiful thing, and a little goes a long way in the flavor department. Go to a real cheese shop - they will be happy to give you samples, and whatever quantity may be in your budget. It will be sold to you wrapped in paper so that it can breathe, or if a soft cheese perhaps packed a tub of its liquid. The stuff shrinkwrapped to death and mass sold in the supermarket is so very wrong, and will certainly not be as flavorful as a cheese made with care and sold by a knowledgeable clerk.

4. Moisturizer. I know I have talked about this topic many a time, but it is very important. Your skin is the the body's largest organ. Don't buy ANYTHING with mineral oil or lanolin. Mineral oil suffocates the skin, and lanolin is basically sheep grease. Ick. You can find some very good moisturizers in the stores for not so much money, just avoid those two ingredients.

5. Time. It is a precious commodity, and most people blow tons of it staring at a computer screen, or watching hours upon hours of TV. Unplug. Take a bath, or a walk, or sit around a big table with your wine, cheese and good friends!

Bluetooth Borg Nation

2007-05-22T08:45:00.000-05:00

As I was gathering my things to leave for work this morning, I noticed a new item on the kitchen table.

A bluetooth. My husband bought a bluetooth.

Although I hate the bluetooth, and how nerdy and self-important wearers look with the stupid thing tethered to their brain, I can totally understand why he did this. Dear Husband is a sole proprietor, and he is often in his car, which has a manual transmission. I try not to call him whilst he is out and about, because I am concerned that he is trying to drive and answer my call. Now it will be much safer for him to drive and conduct business on the phone.

Y'all I am concerned. Do you see what is happening? It started innocently enough with novelty items, like the beer guzzler hat. Said hat can provide the wearer with beer or other nutritious liquids.

Then everyone and their brother needed to have an ipod. Music, podcasts and other information were plugged into our ears and fed into our brains.

And now we have the bluetooth. The most high tech, futuristic looking gizmo of the bunch. I am not going to post a picture of it. If you don't know what one is it is a wonder that you found my blog or even know how to turn on a computer. I have seen tons and TONS of people with this technology attached to their heads. They wear it walking, driving, eating in restaurants, and I bet some people even sleep with it. Are you scared yet?

It is only a matter of time before we are assimilated. Resistance is futile.

Denim No No for Dudes

2007-05-21T09:32:00.000-05:00

Dear Husband shoots a lot of east coast weddings. Yesterday we were driving back from Virginia.

We usually hit fast food whilst driving, because we want to get to our destination as quickly as possible. Well, we decided we would have a sword fight to the death with stale french fries if we had fast food one more time, so we stopped at a Texas Roadhouse in Knoxville. Our food sucked, but it was better than fast food. Anyhoo.....I saw something that I could not stop looking at, even though it was so damaging, you know, like staring at the sun.

One of the male servers had tight tight Wrangler jeans on, and his t-shirt was tucked in, so I saw his JLo bubble butt in all its scary spherical splendor.

Dudes should just not tuck unless they are in dress pants or ...... really anything except for tight jeans. I don't know what he was thinking. It was so wrong, but I could not stop looking at it. I did not see the front view because my look of horror would have been evident. I dunno if he was wearing a codpiece or if his bits and pieces were screaming from suffocation. I felt sorry for his gonads. He was probably a college student, with his reproductive years ahead of him.

Fellas, please don't be this guy. If your jeans are cowboy tight, you should be wearing boots and one of those western button down shirts like Tim McGraw. Tucked denim with a t-shirt and sneakers is just scary.

Pretty Pretty Yeast

2007-05-17T14:27:00.000-05:00

Oh when will people start thinking....I ask you. You know....that vast area between a person's ears? Just because a word might sound "pretty" doesn't mean that it should be used.

For example - Chlamidya, to a stupid person, might sounds like a lovely name for a little girl. You bet she will petition the court to get her name changed post haste.

Anyhoo - the reason for my post. Coco might be attending a rather swanky ball in November, so I decided to google "ball gowns." I clicked on the first referenced website, scrolled through the pictures of meringue-like dresses, and came across this one.

Yes, it is vile, but the truly tragic thing about this poofy disaster is the name they have given the design.

Candida. Also known as the yeast that is responsible for yeast infections. If you don't believe me, here's a link to the actual website page.

I just can't make this stuff up. Gosh I hope this dress comes with a tube of Monistat.

Creepy Things

2007-05-15T08:37:00.000-05:00

Here is a short list of things that either creep me out and/or freak me out. Why have I chosen this topic? Because it is random and rather funny if I do say so myself. So here they are in no particular order.

1. Those Oompa Loompas from the original Willie Wonka movie. Eww ewwwww EWWWWWW I hate those little unnaturally brown guys. I hate their makeup, their hair, their dancing, that creeptastic song they sing. I could go on forever. WHY WAS I ALLOWED TO WATCH THIS AT SUCH AN IMPRESSIONABLE YOUNG AGE? I blame my parents for the wound in my psyche. For serious - how is this a lovely fun film that children should dig? It's all about bad kids getting their come-uppance in rather violent or macabre ways. Not cool. I am not posting a picture of those dang things, because thats how much they creep me out.

2. Kites. Now, I am fine seeing a pretty kite in the air, but holding the string whilst the kite is launched far, far into the atmosphere gives me the heebie jeebies. It's like I am afraid that I will be carried away with it. Yes, I know I could simply just let go of the kite if it creeps me out that much, but the idea of letting go of the kite freaks me out too.

3. The big friggin whale at the American Museum of Natural History in New York City. I was born and raised in New York, and we would often go on field trips to this museum. Taxidermy in general makes my skin crawl, but there is a special place of fear for the big friggin whale. Here's a picture in all its creepy splendor:

Do you see those people walking down the stairs to the side of the whale? They are ants in comparison. That is how big the behemoth is. It is basically impossible to not walk under the whale when you are down on that level, or view it up close as you were walking down the stairs, but as a child I did my best to stay on the perimeter. I was always afraid that the whale would fall and crush me, or it would suddenly come to life a la the Clash of the Titans Thetis statue.

You'd better believe that I did not see that movie Night at the Museum. Oy vey I would have to be sedated before and afterwards.

4. Oh yeah, let's not forget statuary. Yep, Clash of the Titans scared the fertilizer out of me when the above statue started talking. I'm fine viewing statuary in a museum or in the light of day, but I HATE it at night. I feel like they are following my movements with their vacant eyes as I pass by.

So do shrinks see visions of dollar signs? Perhaps, but my randomness about creeptastic things is what makes me what I am, so they can just step off.

The Joy of Soy

2007-05-10T08:48:00.000-05:00

I love getting free stuff, and last night, upon my return home, there was a box with free product in it.

The box contained three SOYJOY snack bars (granolaheads can go to the website to read up on the nutrition particulars). One was apple walnut, the other raisin almond and yet another was mango coconut. I signed up for this promotion based on a commercial. In the commercial, they stated they would send three, and I was supposed to enjoy one and share the other two with my friends. This will not be hard for me to do because:

1. The raisin almond one has the word "raisin" in it. Even though many people enjoy raisins, Coco believes raisins are the devil's candy.

2. The mango coconut one has the word "coconut" in it. Coco does not dig the coconut. I don't even buy shampoo that smells like coconut. Not only do I dislike the smell, but I cannot stand the chewy texture of coconut.

So me being the faboo friend that I am, and a genuinely sharing soul that would not want to be in violation of a contract, I shall send the other two to people that do not have my super picky tastebuds.

I must say that the apple walnut one was super nummy nums. It was full of apple goodness and was tasty. I would so buy this again. I am a generally a big fan of soy products. I love serving shelled soybeans as a veggie for dinner, and I frequently consume light chocolate silk because I have never liked real milk (not even when I was a kid). Yes, yes, I know that my consumption of soy is in direct contradiction to my post of a couple days ago entitled "Fear the Fish - Love the Lard", but Coco is a mystery wrapped in an enigma. Deal with it.

They have a fourth flavor, that their promotional material says is full of "wolfberries." I did not know that mammals produced berries, and have never really been a fan of game meat, but whatevs I guess it is a good form of protein. Heh I kid......I kid. Wolfberries are also known as goji berries, and are supposed to be tart like cranberries - not wolf flavored at all.

Workman Executed

2007-05-09T09:03:00.000-05:00

The big news in Nashville today is that Phillip Workman was executed last night. I am not going to go in to the particulars of the case, and I am not going to passionately try to change someone's mind to think the way I do. Sure, there are tons of bloggers that will do that. I just feel the need to say what I feel about this matter.

I do not believe in the death penalty. I do not believe that killing a guilty person, even though a crime may be heinous, will make up for that crime. I think it is more of a punishment to let that perpetrator serve his or her sentence in prison, and have all the time in his or her life to think about what they have done in a confined, locked space.

Phillip Workman is now dead. We will never know exactly what happened, no matter how many people argue back and forth about the case. His last words were “I commend my spirit into your hands Lord Jesus Christ.” It's between him and God now.

Fear the Fish - Love the Lard

2007-05-08T14:41:00.000-05:00

Great. Dear Brittney over at Nashville is Talking has informed us, via the AP, that "U.S. health officials have learned farmed fish were fed meal contaminated by an industrial chemical linked to pet food recall."

I do my level best to make healty meals in my house. I mostly use olive oil when fat is needed, and beef is rarely found in my refrigerator. I serve a ton of fish, usually in the form of salmon, sea bass or tilapia.

Not long ago, the fresh spinach scare made me ditch that frequent menu item, then green onions, and most recently peanut butter got trashed.

Then the food scare threatened two precious members of my family, Inky and Scooter. I looked at every updated list, and thankfully the brand that they prefer was never on the recall list. Don't mess with my kitties' chow.

So this is what Coco recommends:

Love the lard people - embrace it with two greasy hands. It has worked for centuries for all sorts of people, who are we to say that it is any worse for us now that we're gonna die from contaminated healthy food?

Avoid fiber at all costs. Remember, those poor fish were fed contaminated meal of some sort. That sounds like fiber to me. Pppffftttt who really likes to eat oak bark pellets served with soy milk anyway. Eat your froot loops and pour whole milk over it like a good American.

Leafy greens are just dangerous, especially in raw form. Um hello spinach scare? If you must eat anything green, be sure it is fried to death or swimming in hot cheeze and/or cream.

Drink copious amount of whiskey. Enough of that gasoline in your gullet will kill any cootie that might be present in your system. Whenever I feel malaise, my bossman tells me it is because I don't drink enough. He is so wise.

If you don't smoke take it up post haste. Besides our atmosphere being filled with all that oxygen, I'm sure there is airborne pestilence thrown in there for good measure. Smoke those beasties out of your lungs.

Gosh, I can't think of any more wisdom to impart right now. I care about my dear readers so much.....really I do.

No Fear Here Thankyouverymuch

2007-05-07T15:04:00.000-05:00

I do not have many girlfriends. I have tons of girl-acquaintances, but the term "girlfriend" is reserved for extremely special and super cool women in my life. I can easily say that I have less than ten girlfriends.

Some of my girlfriends know about my blog. This is coolness, because my girlfriends inspired me to create my blog. We correspond regularly by e-mail, and my prose made them chortle, so a-blogging I went.

What I now say is out of love. Dear sisters of snark - if you send me some bullshit forwarded chain e-mail about how if I don't keep the chain going I will be:

1. cursed
2. zapped of my beauty
3. responsible for the death of an ocelot
4. unloved

I will promptly trash it. It is not because I don't love you, or care about the on-its-face sentiment of you sending it to me, but it is due to the subtle, underlying reason behind it.

Fear. Those e-mails convey a message of fear.

I believe in God. I have great faith in God. 2 Timothy 1:7 says "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." I trash these e-mails because I know the source of my blessings. I do not have to rely on luck or forwarded e-mails for quality of life.

I am sorry if my girlfriends that read this message that have forwarded e-mails to me take offense at this. I think offense at times is the sign of a true friend, because you do not gloss and glaze over things, you bring them to the forefront, and deal with them. If I did not care about my girlfriends, I would have just junked the e-mail, and let it go until I received the next forwarded e-mail and promptly junked that too.

This is written out of love. I hope that my snarky sistahs know the love of God, the promises of God, and have a life of peace and prosperity.

Coco Can't Spare a Square

2007-04-24T08:38:00.000-05:00

Coco does her best to live "green." For example:

1. I always turn off the water flow after wetting my toothbrush.

2. We are switching out our incandescent bulbs for those energy saving ones once they burn out.

3. I use old t-shirts and "quitter" socks as rags for cleaning.

4. Heck, we haven't even turned on our air-conditioner yet. We have been opening windows much to the delight of our cats. The chirping birds are a great source of entertainment for them.

There are more examples, but you get the drift.

And now I must draw the line. Sheryl Crow, who we all should listen to because she is in entertainment, and therefore her word is gospel, says that we should only use a square of toilet paper per sitting.

She is on crack - wow that is funny on multiple levels, but I am getting off track. As human beings, there are certain things that we must have to function and be happy. I have seen Sheryl - she is like a size zero, and has a bony ass. If she is comfortable with one square then fine, rawk on with your bad self, but keep your bony fingers off of my two-ply and keep your ass off my commode.

Mother Nature Vexes Me

2007-04-10T08:53:00.000-05:00

Yeah it has been cold. A bunch of clothing from my winter wardrobe is still in rotation. I could not wear anything springy and light on Easter, and I did not wear my Easter bonnet to church thanks to you.

You want to kill the new growth on my trees? Fine.

How's about those sprouting plants from those bulbs I planted with great effort a couple years ago? Mmmkay you saucy minx do your worst.

But don't mess with my weekend. Do you seriously think I will stand for you bringing forth rain and thunderstorms whilst the temperature is 75 degrees? Uh uh Mama, bring forth the sunshine.

I have a Saturday ..... a precious Spring Saturday this weekend where I do not have to shoot a wedding. Dear Husband owns this rather hott car:

I want to sit in the passenger seat with the top down, with a scarf on my head and big sunglasses a la Grace Kelly. I am not keen on staying inside and doing something tragic like catching up on my ::shudder:: laundry.

Don't mess with me Mother Nature. I will find you and cut you. Make with the good weather already.

Nashville is not Nantucket y'all

2007-04-02T13:54:00.000-05:00

If you have read past Coco entries, you know that Coco frequents wedding receptions on a regular basis. This past weekend Dear Husband and I did shoot a wedding, and the reception was at a local, super popular, extremely chic watering hole.

The wedding was small and rather casual, and the reception was on a larger scale at the above-mentioned watering hole. I saw people in all states of dress....chic cocktail dresses to jeans on ladies, and suits to shorts and flip-flops on men. Fine.

But I must comment on something I saw on one male guest that almost made me lose my composure, and just laugh out loud. I shall paint the picture.

Blue button-down, long sleeved shirt. Collar not popped. I'm fine so far.

Dark brown loafers, no socks. Uhhhh okay radar still not going off.

Pink seersucker shorts with embroidered whales festooned all over them.

Please allow me to repeat my last statement.

PINK SEERSUCKTASTIC SHORTS WITH FRIGGIN WHALES EMBROIDERED ALL OVER THEM.

I found the following website that offers these vile shorts, and here is a picture of the offensive whales on the offensive seersucker.

This fool wore these shorts to a wedding reception. A WEDDING RECEPTION PEOPLE. Said reception occurred not at a marina, or at a sandy locale, but a trendy bar right here in Music City. Here is a picture of the shorts, but sadly I could not find an example with the tragic fabric and print:

Coco loathes novelty prints of all sorts, but this is just overboard. Men? Would you like women to laugh at you behind your back? Then, by all means, please buy these shorts. We will stare at each other in utter shock, telepathically transmitting the tragedy we cannot believe we are witnessing, and we will consider it payback for the sadist that convinced women that 4 inch platform heels are super comfy and wonderful.

Now I understand that this look is rather popular amongst the moneyed set, but I must remind my gentle readers that Nashville is not Nantucket.

A Yarn about Yarn

2007-03-16T08:27:00.000-06:00

So Coco has been knitting of recent.

A few months ago, I had some of the lady friends over to drink wine and learn how to knit. Since they were newbies to knitting, I told them to go to Michaels or wherever, and get 8 ounces of a cheapish yarn. You know....like less than $5.

So one of my faboo friends shows up with two gorgeous skeins of Alpaca yarn, at $13 a pop. I gotta tell you guys. This yarn was the softest, sexiest yarn I have ever touched. It felt like cashmere. I wanted to bonk her on the head with my knitting needles and run away into the night with her soft, soft yarn.

But I did not, anyway she is too awesome a person to want to bonk on the head.

So I figured that the yarn had not been touched since our knitting party, which turned into a drinking wine party and laughing about how my friends could not even cast on. I recently called my friend, and told her I would be happy to knit a scarf for her, because to let that yarn languish in an uncompleted project pile somewhere would be a sin.

Muahahhahahhah I now have the yarn, and it is the most luxurious feeling stuff I have ever worked with. I didn't know much about Alpaca, so I researched it. Turns out the yarn comes from the cute animal:

Another little known fact, courtesy of Wikipedia, is that the Alpaca's wool is lighter in weight and warmer than sheep's wool. A huge bonus to choosing Alpaca wool is the fact that the wool does not contain lanolin, which basically makes the wool hypo-allergenic. Very important for all of you allergy suffers, and the wool is not scratchy at all.

My friend also picked out an absolutely lovely color too....a deep chocolate brown. She may have to fight me to get this project back! But, I shall give it to her when I am done. I love giving my friends things I have made, and it is better to give than to receive.

Coco Recommends - Eye Cream & Moisturizer

2007-03-15T07:54:00.000-06:00

Yes.....it is true. I am back. I know I have been a very bad bloggoddess. When it comes to hobbies, and I consider my blog to be one of them, I am very cyclical. Recently I have been in a knitting sorta mood, so other pursuits have gone on the back burner.

Very sorry gentle readers.

Anyhoo, here I am, and for good reason. If you have been a previous reader of my blog, you know that I believe moisturizing is very important, even for guys. Y'all no one wants to shake hands with you if you offer a red, dry, scaly hand in salutation. That's just icky.

So in a recent issue of Glamour magazine, there was a sample of Clinique's new product, All About Eyes. I applied said sample during my evening regimen. I woke up the next day and was absolutely amazed at the results, just after one use. My lines were barely visible.....the lines that I had been religiously applying Kiehl's Avocado Eye Treatment to for months and months with no significant change. I am now a convert. It is just a couple dollars more than the Kiehl's, but it is so so worth it. I can't wait to get more of this stuff, and am considering changing my skin regimen over to Clinique, rather than my usual Aveda products.

So back to the guys. I know that some of you think that if you wash your face in Dial or Ivory soap you are done.

Yeah the correct answer to that is no. Please go to your favorite drug or grocery store and pick up a bottle of Cetaphil lotion. It does not look girly, it does not smell girly, no one will think you grew a pair of ovaries simply by holding the bottle in the checkout line. It is recommended like crazy by dermatologists, and you can use it on your face and hands. You will look better, and by golly your skin will feel better.

Coco is back!

The Scoop Has Meaning

2007-01-30T17:01:00.000-06:00

I'd like to say people can be animals, but then that would be insulting to the animals. Let's just say that people can be really gross. We all know this, have seen gross things, and have moved on with life.

I am leaving my current employment situation for a better opportunity. I am not leaving here on bad terms - quite the contrary actually - but for some reason NOW I am privvy to certain occurrences and goings on in the firm.

Today I went to a group lunch, included among the group was our excellent runner. Fear the staff you higher-ups....they see all....they know all.

So as we were waiting for the check, he told us that a whole lot of the men here at my situation do not wash their hands after using the restroom. Okay I know that men can be gross, and I guess think they will not pass staph infections throughout their working environment. This is why unisex bathrooms are generally a bad idea. Women would see that men do not wash their hands, and I guess turn lesbian. Babies would not get created, and world symbiosis would be super-screwed up.

Okay I'm getting off track - back to what our runner said.

Now it is bad that they do not wash their hands, but their next steps are even more horrific.

He has witnessed them go directly into the kitchen, and either:

1. Open the door to our beverage refrigerator, or
2. Thrust their dirty hands into the pretzel and animal cracker bins.

Folks these men I speak of are college-educated, make six figures, and are basically upstanding members of society.

The firm generously supplies snackage for us, and also provides handy scoops so that we can have opportunity to appreciate our opposable thumbs and dexterity. It seems a number of men here do not care, and want everyone to die because they are lazy.

So if it sounds like I am being severe on men, well, I am. Sorry if you are a guy that is super awesome, washes his hands, and chooses not to be gross. This post was not intended for your eyes. Whenever I have been in the ladies room, I have always witnessed other ladies washing their hands.

Please wash your hands. Please use provided scoops for snackage after washing your hands if you want to partake of treats intended for everyone. It would be most inconvenient for the entire office to get sick because you are lazy and gross.

Rehab makes everything okay

2007-01-25T13:57:00.000-06:00

Celebrity says something prejudiced.

Prejudicial remark hits the news at lightning speed.

Everyone reads, talks, and thinks about it.

“How dare that person.” “What a hideously unsensitive thing to say.” “I’m never going to pay any attention to that person again.”

Then whatever group the offense remark was directed towards gets up in arms, and goes to their public relations firm, demanding said person to apologize.

Celebrity goes into rehab, because celebrity is obviously an evil person, that probably stomps on daisies and throws rocks at mockingbirds for sport.

I am so so tired of celebrities going to rehab because of something stupid they said. Can’t celebrities just be dickheads, and can’t we get on with life? Do we have to go through their twelve steps with them?

If you can honestly say to yourself that you have never said or thought anything prejudicial, I can honestly call you a liar.

Move along people…..nothing interesting to see here.

Fuhgeddabout Snakes On A Plane

2007-01-23T15:14:00.000-06:00

Children on a plane can be much worse. According to this article, a family was ejected from a flight because their child was, well, being a child.

Now I do not have children, and I give snaps to those of you that have to travel with children. Children get tired. Children do not understand that they have to remain seated, and belted for extended periods of time. They kick the back of my chair, which could result in spirited beverage spillage. They don't understand the uncomfortable pressure in their ears, and then they cry that banshee-like shrill that only children (and banshees I suppose) can produce.

Air Tran was fully in its right to remove the family from the flight. They have a business to run, and a responsibility to ensure safety and control during the flight. Air Tran reimbursed the family for the cost of their tickets, which I think was above and beyond what they should have done. The family said they will never fly Air Tran. Fine. I will.

Can't some genius invent children's chewable Demerol already?

Go Ahead People...Be Naughty

2006-12-06T08:44:00.000-06:00

That's right. Dear Husband received the Williamsburg Marketplace catalog last night, and as I perused through it this morning during breakfast, I found this Santa:

In the picture on the web it is not clear, but in print form you can see all of the kids that are getting presents this year, and they all either have yuppie names, or names that they will be beaten up for having. Kids named Charla, Florence, Koell (WTF?), Grant, Price, Lilly, Bart, Connor, Logan, Kennedy and Nathan are among the lucky receipients of gifts this holiday season. So, if you have a normal name feel free to be absolutely bad, you aren't getting squat - make the most of having this knowledge.

I personally am going to begin running with scissors, cutting the tags off of my mattresses, and adopt a generally selfish and uncaring Scrooge-like persona.

Screw you and your uppity list Santa.

Be a Gracious Guest

2006-12-05T08:38:00.000-06:00

Dear Husband and I have been invited to a dinner party tonight. In this day and age, many of us simply don't have time to entertain, but during the holiday season, I'm sure most of us will receive an invitation to a friend or neighbor's open house.

Always bring a host/hostess gift!

If the affair is an open house, I recommend a plant. If you know that the host/hostess has pets, you may not want to bring a Poinsettia. They are poisonous to pets. A topiary rosemary plant will not only look lovely, but the herb can be used if your host/hostess enjoys cooking. If you do not want to go the plant route, I suggest candles, but nothing too strongly scented.

If the affair is a dinner party, I recommend any of the following combinations:

1. A bottle of wine and flowers.
2. A bottle of wine and dessert (always ask if you can bring anything, most times the host/hostess will suggest dessert - but never assume).
3. Flowers and dessert (if the host/hostess is a tee-totaler).
4. If none of these suggestions sound do-able, I suggest candles, flavored oils or other interesting culinary items.

You should never show up to a party empty-handed. Your host/hostess has undoubtedly put a lot of effort into the affair, and you want to show your appreciation!

And then there's the question about food. Sometimes the host/hostess will ask if you have any food allergies (for example, shellfish makes me blow up), but other than that NEVER be demanding. For example "Oh I don't eat anything green or anything that comes from California, because I am mad at that state and hope Lex Luthor blows it up and it falls in the ocean." Whatever is served you should accept. Even if you have never had a certain food, there's a good chance it will be delicious! Be adventurous and try new things.

If you don't see a salt and pepper shaker on the table, there is a reason. The chef has already seasoned the dish, and if you add more seasoning (especially before tasting) it will alter the quality of what has been prepared. If you must ask for salt and pepper, at least try the meal before asking. Never douse your plate in seasoning before taking the first bite.

After the party, if you want to go that extra mile, send a thank you note. Snail mail correspondence is a rarity these days. It is always nice to receive a note of thanks, especially from a friend!

Coco is One Hott Elf

2006-12-04T14:47:00.000-06:00

That's right...hott with two "t's" You'll understand once you see this.

I rest my case.

Why I Hate Wal-Mart

2006-11-29T09:02:00.000-06:00

I'm not going to wax eloquent on the economics, or how Wal-Mart is hurting the Mom & Pop businesses out there....my reasons for hatred are more superficial than that.

1. The lighting. It is so very hideous. I know that most large shops use fluorescent lighting, but the combination of the mostly white decor and then the awful lighting makes for a very depressing shopping experience.

2. The layout. Why oh why does the pet stuff have to be so far away from the food stuff? They should be close to each other. Are they saying that pet food does not count as food? That's segregation, and pet discrimination. I just cannot stand for that. My cats deserve better treatment.

3. The customers. For the most part, I have observed the customers to be sullen in appearance (probably because of the awful lighting). Don't the execs higher up on the Wal-Mart food chain want to see happy Wal-Mart customers? Perhaps they should give everyone a can of Diet Coke or a sippie cup of wine upon entry. Caffiene and alcohol makes people happy.

4. The kids. I can always count on a child screaming at banshee-like levels during my shopping experience. I cannot wait until someone invents children's chewable Demerol. Bonus points to WalMart if said children's chewable soothing narcotic is generic, and sold for $4. That will be a beautiful day.

Coco Does Thanksgiving

2006-11-21T11:27:00.000-06:00

Coco has the family over every Thanksgiving. I love doing the Thanksgiving meal. In years past, I have been possessed by Martha Stewart, and did the herbs-under-the-skin thing....heck, one year I even served a tur-duck-hen. The end result of preparing gourmet birds and side dishes resulted in me spending the lionshare of the day in the kitchen, and I was exhausted.

Coco don't play that way anymore.

I'm a busy gal, Martha doesn't dare possess my mortal coil during the holidays. She would probably swoon from the lack of difficulty and heavy use of prepared products. Meh....she's a weirdo anyway. I don't care what she thinks. To me, Thanksgiving is all about spending time with the family, and copious amounts of food and alcohol.

Here's is Coco's Thanksgiving Menu:

1. Turkey. I don't mess with the bones anymore. I absolutely hate dealing with the carcass afterwards. I buy two Butterball boneless turkeys. They always come out juicy and perfect, and the meat is awesome for sandwiches the next day (if there are even leftovers).

2. Mash 'Taters and Gravy. Taters are instant from a box, gravy is from a jar. Thanksgiving purists have the following options:

a. You can bite me, or
b. Come over and mash the taters yourself whilst steaming your face to a bright red.

Everyone loves my taters, because I use REAL butter, garlic, salt, pepper and a bit of cream. Don't hate until you appreciate my taters.

3. Stuffing. Although it is not actually "stuffed" in the bird, Northerners call it stuffing. I sweat onions, carrot and celery (all of an equal size) in a bit of butter. I then add a mild breakfast sausage. Salt and pepper are added, and the mixture is incorporated into Pepperidge Farm breadcrumbs, and moistened with chicken broth. It is so good you could cry.

4. Green bean casserole. I used to serve my holiday green beans with lemon and olive oil, but I thought it would be fun to serve the classic (with cream of mushroom soup and crispy onions) last year. It was a big hit, and appears again on this year's menu.

5. Corn. Out of the can. I am not cutting corn off the ear you Bobby Flay loving freak. I don't work at Bolo.

6. Cheezy Broccoli. Broccoli florets covered in cheddar and/or Velveeta. Cooked until the cheeze is bubbly and ever-so-slightly brown....like a mean grilled cheese sandwich.

7. Cranberry Gelatin Goo. I mold the cranberry gelatin goo to represent the artistry that is the inside of an aluminum can. It is quite a skill. Mom also brings a lovely whole berry relish for those that dig the whole berry experience. It is faboo. People that know and love me know that I am a klutz. This is why I have a ceramic range top rather than an open flame gas range. Those cranberries explode y'all. Me + exploding fruit = disaster.

8. Mom's Irish Soda Bread. Usually served during St. Patrick's Day, it also appears at Thanksgiving because it is just that awesome. The traditional variety calls for raisins, also known by me as The Devil's Candy, so Mom makes a loaf usually with dried apricots and walnuts. I think this year she is going to substitute Craisins for dried apricots. It is awesome toasted the next day for breakfast.

9. Apple Pie and Pumpkin Pie served with Cool Whip. A nice lady by the name of Sara Lee has already assembled the pies. I just have to heat them up. Thanks ever so much Sara!

So that's the menu. It is very easy, which means I will have tons of time to spend with my family, and that's the most important thing.

Christmas before Thanksgiving?

2006-11-21T07:32:00.000-06:00

Yep. That is the scene in my neighborhood. My neighbors are affectionately called the Southern Stepford Borg ("SSB"). This is because:

1. The inside and outsides of their houses are immaculate at all times.
2. They talk like they ooze magnolia. Seriously who knew that the word "hello" had five syllables?
3. They spawn at an alarming rate. All of them have at least two robot children, and a few of them have three.
4. They are all housewives. I am the only one that works outside of the home.
5. They wear clothing that makes them look like L.L. Bean models.
6. Aaaaannnd the main reason? Resistance is futile y'all. I am sure they want to assimilate me.

So I am the odd one out, and therefore have a moral obligation to make fun of them. My most recent reason to poke fun at them? They have already decorated for Christmas. That's right. There are wreaths, lights and other signs of Christmas already in my neighborhood, and we haven't even celebrated Thanksgiving yet. WTF mates. These SSB robots must need maintenance, because their wiring is just not right. I'm sure on Friday it will be full blown-out Christmas in my 'hood, and they will probably be delivering their hand-stamped holiday cards in short order, along with invitations to their open house parties.

That's cool. I'll go to their parties. I'd really like to find their robot maintenance rooms, and maybe go on a safari for the elusive SSB dust bunny.

Coco Recommends

2006-11-16T09:58:00.000-06:00

Coco has been on a big self-care kick recently. You are not going to believe this, but I had my FIRST massage ever last weekend. I don't know why I waited so long, but I can tell you I will indulge in massages more often. I went to Andante Day Spa, which is rather close to my hood. I have been there before and used them for other services, so I knew the facility was lovely, and the staff was faboo.

I decided to get the 60 minute Swedish massage, which was a bargain priced at $70. My masseuse introduced herself, and I noticed that she was a petite little thing.

Turns out she was a petite little thing with Herculean strength.

She worked everything (focusing mostly on my lower back as requested) from my head to my toes, and I felt limber, relaxed and pain-free afterwards. They also offer a 30 minute massage for $40 if you want a shorter session. They also have other sorts of massage like hot stones, etc. I so want to do the hot stone therapy. That sounds fab.

Coco must also recommend Aveda's Personal Blends Collection.

They have range of products from perfumes to body wash. First, you must choose your favorite scent. This is a fun process. You sit down in beside at least 20 vials filled with different cocktails of essential oils. You sniff each one, and it gets put either in the yes or no column. If your brain gets too full of scent, they also have a can of coffee beans that you can sniff as a perfume brain cleanser of sorts. It really works. Turns out that my favorite was a blend of geranium, eucalyptus and lime. I have the perfume, body scrub, shampoo and conditioner. I heart ALL of these products. The great thing about adding the essential oils to the shampoo is that my hair has never been better conditioned, and yet it is not greasy or waxy at all. I'm telling you it is awesome.

So be like Coco and invest in yourself. Self-care is a fabulous thing!

They Didn't Even Give Me A Cool Band-Aid

2006-11-14T10:46:00.000-06:00

Coco went to the firm-sponsored Health Fair today. I don't know why they call it a fair. There are no balloons, carnies or funnel cakes anywhere in sight - just medical personnel that told me my height, weight, BMI (shoot me now), and performed other tests. In all fairness, they should really call it a Health Gauntlet of Pain and Shame.

I don't like needles y'all. I hate them, but I've gotten much better about them over time. I remember as a child, my pediatrician's nurse would pin me down with her body on top of mine, with only my arm exposed for the doctor's use. At least they always gave me a really cool band-aid, festooned with animals, flowers or something fun.

So today they took my blood for a CBC panel, and in exchange for that vial I got a cotton ball and white tape. Um yeah that's a fair trade. Thanks ever so much mean medical person.

Then I got the flu shot. I did not like that one. I could feel the goo going into my arm. She then put a band-aid on the puncture. After being pricked twice, I was feeling feisty. I asked her if she had a cool band-aid. She said she did not, but then proceeded to draw a happy face on my skin-colored band-aid.

Dang right.....Coco demands cool band-aids.

Voting Conversations Overheard

2006-11-08T07:51:00.000-06:00

I voted early, so I do not have a report of the polling places/lines of yesterday, but I did hear some interesting tales from fellow co-workers. I present them to you in no particular order, without embellishment or added personal opinions.

1. One co-worker said that she has never registered to vote, because she is afraid of being called for jury duty.

2. One co-worker tried to early vote in Williamson County, but the line was too long, so he left. He did vote yesterday, and waited 45 minutes in line.

3. One co-worker, who moved here from Houston over a year ago, went to her designated polling place with her Tennessee issued registration card in hand, but was told she could not be found in the computer, and therefore could not vote. This was yesterday morning. She was going to go back in the evening, and hoped for a better result.

4. One co-worker's husband is in the hospital in Columbia, Tennessee. There was a polling place across the street from the hospital. The co-worker called about the possibility of her husband casting his vote there, but was told he could not. Therefore he did not vote.

Casting one's ballot is a personal, and hopefully informed decision. I am proud of every person that took the time to vote, no matter what choices they made. I think as Americans we take the conveniences of life and our freedoms for granted sometimes. It is important that we never forget that people fought and died for the rights that we have, and still do to this day.

I know Coco does not tend to get political, but who could not be thinking politically at such a time as this?

Task and Treat

2006-10-31T12:36:00.000-06:00

I just got back from Walgreens so that the 100 or so kids that usually ring my doorbell on Halloween get their sugar fix. I stood in the long line, forked over too much money for delicious processed sugar, and will have to lug candy home. Let's not forget that tonight I will have to get up at least every two minutes to answer the door, and my dinner will be extermely interrupted.

I think the kids should prove their worth for the candy I will provide.

Perhaps they should perform feats of strength, like on Festivus. One piece of candy to the winner.

My car interior could use a good vacuuming. I'd say two pieces is a good wage for that chore.

My front flower bed needs weeding, I would give at least three Snickers Minis to the industrious goblin that takes on that task.

If the doorbell ringer is an older kid that has computer skills, they can come in and do data entry. We have tons of business receipts that need to be input for upcoming tax purposes. That's worth at least four pieces of candy.

If the Halloweenie decides not to do anything meritorious for the candy (I mean come on....it's not like anyone makes costumes anymore - creativity and personal craftsmanship would merit candy), then Dear Husband and I will be in candy for a good long time. It's all the kinds that we dig anyway.

Paris Syndrome

2006-10-24T07:39:00.000-05:00

This article just blows my mind. It says that approximately a dozen Japanese tourists to the city need psychiatric treatment after their visit because romantic visions of what they think Paris is clashes with the reality once they get there.

I have been to Paris twice. Before my first visit, I read books on Paris and the culture. I scoured the internet for etiquette, what to wear so that I didn't scream "tourist," restaurant reviews, seasoned traveler insider tips, etc. Knowledge is your best tool when it comes to travel anywhere. Plus, knowledge will help soften any culture shock you may experience.

Here's a quote from the article:

"In Japanese shops, the customer is king, whereas here assistants hardly look at them ... People using public transport all look stern, and handbag snatchers increase the ill feeling."

Now I have never been to Japan, so I can not opine as to how shoppers are treated, but I can certainly tell you something about the shops and the Parisian Metro. My favorite shop to visit in Paris is Fauchon. I have never been treated rudely, and I think that is because I don't make assumptions. Don't assume that you can paw the merchandise, don't assume that you have the run of the store. If you learn the a few key polite terms (for any country you visit) they will go a long way in softening the sales assistant, and they will be more inclined to attempt speaking in your language. I always leave Fauchon happy and with chocolate.

The metro in Paris is absolutely fantastic. The musicians that perform in the tunnels (for the most part) have permits. They have to perform before a panel to get the permit, and the music is great. It is far superior to using one of those tourists buses to get around - you won't see real Parisians there. Granted, people will not make eye contact with you, but that's just like New York. You don't make eye contact with someone you don't know, because they could be crazy. Duh!

Parisians think that adherence to customs and formality in conversation with strangers is a sign of courtesy. On the other hand, Americans for the most part think a friendly "Hey, how are you doing?" is just fine. Not in Paris baby! They will not answer you, and probably think you are a freak, or just a gauche American. I'm just telling you what I know people, I'm not saying that it's right. When you are a guest in someone else's country, it is in your best interest to research customs and etiquette. I have never had a bad experience on any of my travels, and I know it is because I arm myself with facts beforehand.

So I guess the moral of this blog is arm yourself with knowledge before going on any trip, and maybe you won't go to the loony bin.

Love

2006-10-20T12:02:00.000-05:00

Things I Love:

Really big trees
The sound of rain on the roof
My car
Peanut butter
Roller coasters
The music of The Barenaked Ladies

Places I Love:

My house
My church
Paris
Monaco
Chicago

The Person I Love Most In This World:

My Dear Husband

This October 22, we will celebrate our 12th year of marriage. I cannot believe it has been that long. It seems like just yesterday we were dancing at our wedding reception. I love our life together, I love the adventures we have, and I love you.

Umbrella Etiquette

2006-10-19T12:02:00.000-05:00

The sky was overcast this morning. Right now, it is raining cats and dogs.

My umbrella is in an extremely logical place. In my car. Great.

This brings to mind umbrella etiquette in general. I present the following observations and tips for your entertainment.

1. The sidewalks of downtown Nashville are not wide. Yet people still insist on using those huge golf umbrellas. If you are not made of silk, and don't go by the title of Wicked Witch of the West, such a huge umbrella is unnecessary and a hindrance to others on the sidewalk. Scale that umbrella down please. You look like a fool that is scared of rain.

2. Have fun with color! Everyone and their brother has a black umbrella. Granted, it is the classic, but ever so boring.

3. Invest in an umbrella of good construction. It does not have to be Burberry, but it should have a durable infrastructure so it does not turn out in a strong wind. Plus, if you spend $$ on an umbrella, you'll probably be less likely to leave it in a restaurant or movie theater.

Notice I made no mention of leaving it in the car. Yep. I am going to get soaked.

Coco Might Be Loco

2006-10-18T07:04:00.000-05:00

I just got off the phone with my younger sister. By the way she was talking, I knew she was setting me up for something big. She said she was on board, Mom was on board, and she was going to call my other sister next Her question you might ask?

"Do you want to do the Music City Half Marathon?"

My first answer: "F*cking hell."

My second answer: "I'll do it."

I've got the gear. I have legs, sneakers, workout clothes, an exercise step and exercise DVDs, and loved ones that will be with me. I don't know if I will walk, jog or run, but I will do it. A goal is a great thing, and I'd love to be involved in something so big that is so excellent for your health and well being.

Saturday, April 28, 2007. My date with destiny.

Plus, if I keep up the exercise I will look so hot.

Coco on Self Care

2006-10-17T18:27:00.000-05:00

So Coco has been a bad blogger.....I know I have said this at the beginning of many of my posts, but I'm sorta giving myself a vacation from things. I'm a busy gal. If you read my blog, you know that I have three jobs. As that commercial from the 70's said "I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan." Besides that, I also work with Dear Husband on the weekend with weddings.

We do a lot of weddings y'all. That means Coco has zero downtime.

So I've been giving myself some mental and physical downtime. I am too hard on myself sometimes, and I know that some women out there feel the same way, because I have heard from you. I am on a big self-care swing right now. Self-care equals selfish to some, and that's just wrong. Mr. Webster defines the word "selfish" as follows:

Main Entry: self•ish
Pronunciation: 'sel-fish
Function: adjective
1 : concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself : seeking or concentrating on one's own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others
2 : arising from concern with one's own welfare or advantage in disregard of others

I'm pretty sure the fabulous women I know that have a problem with the definition of "selfish" never took the time to look it up. The definition is polar opposite from what they truly are. They are caring, lovely, nurturing people, but when it comes time to turn that care on themselves, they feel like they are being "selfish."

As my dear friend from Lewisburg, Tennessee would say, "that ain't right."

Girl.....it's your time. Who can you care for if you don't care for yourself first?

Self care can mean whatever makes your heart smile. It could be a massage, or a manicure perhaps, but it doesn't need to be anything that costs money if you do not have the means. Take a walk. Enjoy a long bubble bath. Read that book that has been sitting on your bedstand. Take 20 minutes in your morning and meditate. I promise you will feel better.

So what am I doing? I'm listening to music, I'm knitting, or I'm doing nothing at all, and it feels great!

I'd love to hear from some of my dear readers - I know you are out there ;-). Please leave a comment in the opinion area, and tell me what you do for yourself that is "self care." If you find that you are drawing a blank, it's time to change something!

Beauty Tips

2006-10-13T07:38:00.000-05:00

I received the following as an e-mail from a dear friend.

Below is a wonderful poem Audrey Hepburn wrote when asked to share her "beauty tips." It was read at her funeral years later.

For attractive lips, speak words of kindness....
For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair , let a child run his/her fingers through it once a day.
For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone...
People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed,
And redeemed; never throw out anyone.
Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms.
As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands;
One for helping yourself, and the other for helping others.

Audrey was just lovely inside and out!

The Promise of a New Week

2006-10-09T07:30:00.000-05:00

The sky is sunny this Monday morn.

I saw a squirrel, it was merry.

The drive to work was easy thanks to the Columbus Day holiday. Tonight everyone will hit the bars sporting 15th Century clothing, and drinks copious amounts of liquor out of novelty Niña, Pinta, and Santa Maria ship mugs.

I scored a great parking space.

But my happy spirit was dashed when I saw a lady of fine figure and face in a fashion tragedy.

The young lady got on the parking garage elevator right after me, so I was able to inspect her outfit with great detail. She was wearing a tight sweater, exposing her midriff, a casual (too casual belt), and a pair of tweed pants that should have been lovely.

I say should, because even though there was a cuff created by the garment manufacturer, said pants were still too long, so she just rolled them up one more time.

Wrong, wrong, wrong!

She got of the elevator in front of me, so I watched her walk for half a block before we parted ways. One cuff came undone in that short distance, and was dragging on the concrete. Lame to the max.

Here are the lessons we need to take away from this sorry person.

1. If the garment does not fit in any way, take it to an alterations place. Comfort is essential, and if you constantly have to adjust yourself or your clothing because the garment is ill fitting it is not worth it.

2. Exposing your midriff is unacceptable in a work environment unless you work in a strip club, or work at Hooters. She would have looked much better with a lovely sweater twin-set.

3. Don't leave the price tag on the bottom of your shoe. This girl did, and that was the first thing my eye went to. I don't even remember if her shoes were cute.

This girl obviously suffered from Lazy Dresser Syndrome. She could not even take an iron to the newly formed cuff that she made. If she did, it would have had more of a chance of staying in place, but not much. It would have taken a minute, maybe less, to take that price tag off of her shoe.

Don't be a lazy dresser people. Details count!

Coco Knows! Answer to Question from Rachel

2006-10-06T19:03:00.000-05:00

Greetings gentle readers. I apologize for my lack of entries....I managed to get another head cold, and the sinus medicine makes my feel loopy!

I received the following e-mail from dear reader Rachel:

I have a slight, but obvious problem. I am 95% sure that I am allergic to make-up, or at least foundation. This causes a problem because as a teen, I had a bad case of acne and now have major scaring on my face. I don't think that you have to wear make-up to make you who you are, or even to be beautiful. I've tried all kinds. Oil based, non-oil based, natural types...everything! And they all, after a few short hours (I can't even make it a full work day) - my face breaks out and hurts.

But being a recent college grad, I'm looking for jobs and don't feel professional without make-up. By any chance, is there anything I'm missing? A certain makeup? Maybe a cream to put on as a block between the face and the foundation? Anything at all?

Check your makeup's ingredients. Don't believe a product because it claims to be "natural." Does it contain lanolin? I too have sensitive skin, and if I use a product on my skin that contains lanolin, I have an allergic reaction. Lanolin is bad stuff people. Don't use it. Basically, you are putting animal fat on your face.

Say it with me people ... ick.

Makeup companies like to use this ingredient because it is cheap, and your makeup will go on smoothly, but at what consequence? Try to buy make-up that is as natural as possible. Personally, I find that powder-based foundation is more gentle on the skin. As my readers know, I love Aveda's products, and am a big fan of their powder foundation. I have been told that Bare Minerals is also a great product.

Rachel, you also mentioned that you have tried products with oil in them. If that oil was mineral oil, that is also bad stuff. Mineral oil is a petroleum product. It is a cheap ingredient, and the user thinks their skin feels baby soft. Wrong wrong wrong. It actually closes off the pours, and moisture cannot get through. It suffocates the skin. Avoid lotions or potions with mineral oil as an ingredient. Again, look for oils that are plant derivatives instead.

If you skin does not improve, I would recommend seeing a dermatologist. Perhaps the dermatologist can prescribe something to soothe or protect your skin. Best of luck!

Dear readers, feel free to e-mail me anytime with your questions!

Coco Knows! Answer to Question from Kelli

2006-10-02T07:32:00.000-05:00

Good morning all! Dear reader Kelli posed the following question:

Dear Coco, I am a poor college student at Lipscomb University who wants to take better care of her nails and cuticles. I play piano (for my major), and I hate the way my hands look when my nails do not look nice. My nails are not really the problem, but my cuticles are horrible. They pull away from my nails, and I get hangnails all the time. Do you know what I could do about them at an affordable price that I can do myself (I have no time or money to have them done professionally)? Also, I use a nail file (cardboard - Revlon brand) that has four different parts to take care of the tops of the nails. It smoothes out the ridges in my nails and buffs them quite nicely, but I hate having to buy the whole file (because I use a metal file to file my nails), and it wears out easily. I've used other buffers (the kind that has three different boards), but they fall apart just as easily. Do you have any suggestions? Thanks! Kelli

Kelli - I completely understand and sympathize about the problems with your cuticles. As a worker drone that types 95 words per hour, I need to make sure that my nails are short in good condition, and there's nothing worse than painful fingers due to hangnails and dry cuticles. This is what Coco would do:

1. Be sure that you drink enough water during the day and night. That is the best form of hydration for your skin.

2. Take a multivitamin. Not only will you get essential vitamins and minerals for your overall good health, but the condition of your hair and nails should also improve.

3. I have three products to recommend:

(a) Buy a cuticle cream for use in the daytime. I prefer Sally Hansen. It is not at all greasy, a little goes a long way, and you don't have to worry about any cuticle oil making a mess in your purse. I use this every single day before I begin typing.

(b) Follow that up with a hand moisturizer. It doesn't have to be anything pricey, just something that will do the job. I personally like Lubriderm, because it is unscented and will not compete with whatever scent you might be wearing.

(c) Here's the grand slam for lovely hands. Buy and use olive oil! Now, you don't have to buy anything extra virgin, imported from Italy....any grocery store variety will do. Rub the oil on your hands, especially your cuticle area at night, and then follow that up with some thin cotton gloves. You should be able to find some gloves in a drug store near the loofahs and bath things. In the morning, your skin will be soft and hydrated. You should be able to toss those gloves in the washer when necessary. Olive oil is great for many areas. It can be used as a general moisturizer, or even a hair conditioner if used in moderation and rinsed out well.

If you follow these steps, the appearance of your nails and cuticles should improve. I personally don't have an issue with ridges in the nails, but the taking of a multivitamin may make the ridges in your nails less visible, and keeping your nails and hands more hydrated should make you run through those emery boards buffers with less frequency since it will take less effort to get them into a pretty condition.

Thank you for your question Kelli. If there are any more readers out there that have questions, please feel free to ask!

Cosmetics for $1

2006-09-28T12:16:00.000-05:00

I'm not kidding folks. Eyes.Lips.Face, or e.l.f. for short, is a company that, according to its philosophy, believes that all women should be able to afford cosmetics at a reasonable price.

And that reasonable price, on the majority of their items, including some very nice looking brushes, is $1. No lie.

Now, I must tell you that I have never used or sampled their products, I am an Aveda girl, but whoa what a deal. Therefore, I am telling you folks about it. I'm not sure how long the deal will last, so if you are thinking of trying a new line, give them a try.

Also, I'm not sure if this code still works, but it is worth a shot. Apparently, there is free shipping with an order of $25 or more with the promo code SHIPIT.

That looked like a dirty word, but alas it is not.

Coco Felled by the Crustacean

2006-09-26T07:30:00.000-05:00

Greetings gentle readers. Sorry I have been so neglectful in my postings...but I have been feeling rather awful. Here's the story:

Dear husband had a wedding this past weekend in Virginia. Since I could not get the time off from work, I stayed home. When dear husband goes out of town, and I am my main source of entertainment, I stock up on chick flicks, and nummy things to eat. I put dear husband on a plane Thursday morning, went to work, visited a friend after work, and then hit the store so that I could be home in time for the Grey's Anatomy season premiere. I spied some lovely butterflied shrimp at the store...something I hadn't had in a long time, so I bought them and enjoyed them whilst watching my program.

I was captivated by my show. I honestly don't remember getting up. I had everything I needed within arms reach. After the program, I noticed that my knee and ankle joints were stiff. I told myself that it was probably because I had been sitting, and the shoes I wore that day were super cute, and therefore uncomfortable, so that must be the reason.

A couple hours later I went to sleep. I woke up around midnight in excruciating pain. My knees and ankles were a combination of throbbing pain, stiff and weak at the same time. I knew I needed to do something, but in my groggy and hurty state I could not think straight. I managed to get down the stairs (I felt like an elderly person, clutching the banister with all my might) and got two ice packs. I put them directly on my knees, propped pillows in all sorts of positions, and eventually went to sleep.

The next day I felt like someone had beaten the fertilizer out of me. Thankfully, I did not have the stiffness or pain that I experienced the previous night. I did not have any sort of rash or hives, which I thought was the usual allergic reaction to shrimp, and research on the internet didn't give me any good answers. I called my Mom and related the story to her, she agreed that my symptoms were strange. My Dad can not have shellfish of any sort, a few years ago on a cruise, he found that out the hard way. I managed to get through work that day, but I felt absolutely exhausted. The weekend was spent mostly feeling like crap, and watching chick flicks. I did go out to dinner with Mom on Saturday, which was lovely, but you'd better believe I did not have shellfish! We went to a yummy barbecue joint in her neck of the woods. We had a lovely time, and the meal made me physically feel much better. Is there anything meat can't do?

So today I am back in blog form. I have had some weakness in my legs since that terrible Thursday eve, but I feel like my old self today, and that's a great thing.

And now it seems that I must bid adieu to something delicious. I think the problem was that I had a concentrated amount, and I was not used to that. I'm not going to press my luck. I would not want to experience that scary pain ever again. So buh bye Coquille St. Jacques, Shrimp Scampi, She Crab Soup and all of you other lovely Crustaceans. One day I will go to an allergist to find out for sure if that is the culprit, but I'm pretty sure I'm right given the circumstances, and the fact that my Dad tends to blow up from the shellfish.

Adieu sweet shrimp....adieu.

Coco Knows! Answer to Question from Sarah

2006-09-20T11:59:00.000-05:00

Dear reader Sarah posed the following question:

My budget is fairly limited and I have a wardrobe full of the
basics, but I would like a few new things for fall. What do you suggest for
the working woman that did leggings in the 80's?

Do you still have those leggings perchance? If you loved that look back then, you'll be happy to know that leggings are back in vogue. For a fun casual look, wear those leggings with a fun denim mini skirt and a pair of ballet flats.

Since you stated that you have the basics, I would focus on accessories. I am a big believer in scarves. Stein Mart is a great source for scarves and accessories of all sorts, and they always have some sort of sale going on. Also invest in some fun chunky bangles and perhaps some accessories that are festooned with fun charms (bracelets, necklaces). Charms are hot right now, but don't overdo them. If you are wearing charms on a necklace, I'd say limit yourself to two or three max.

Regarding spritzing up your basic wardrobe with some hip seasonal items, I would again recommend Stein Mart or Target. Target has some great brands. Paul + Joe is the newest collection they carry, the clothing has great modern lines but are still classy. They have everything from casual to work attire.

Another great bonus, as you know, is that these stores are not far at all from your location! Stein Mart is on Franklin Pike in Brentwood in the Kroger Shopping Center, and Target is right across the street from you.

Dear readers, please feel free to e-mail me anytime you have a question, if you would like a quantity of Coco cards for sharing with your friends, or if you just want to say hi!

Coco Does Domestic

2006-09-18T07:36:00.000-05:00

Greetings gentle readers. I am back refreshed from a weekend that had no agenda, but I still did a whole bunch of stuff. I know you are just DYING to know what I did, so I shall tell you in great detail. Martha Stewart has NOTHING on me!

Lamentably I had to stay a bit late at work Friday night, so we spent that evening enjoying a lovely meal of pork chops, green and wax beans (wax beans are yellow and nummy and similar in shape to green beans) and mushroom cous cous. Then, we just chilled in front of the TV with the kitties. Usually Friday nights would be spent at a wedding rehearsal and then the dinner, so a Friday night at home is a lovely thing.

Saturday we took our time getting up, and then ran around the Cool Springs area on errands. I had a Wal Mart gift card burning a whole in my pocket, so I treated myself to some lovely peach mango body wash, some needed acrylic paint, and a couple other little odds and ends. We then enjoyed our lunch at Chik-fil-a (their waffle fries are the best!) as far removed from the kiddie jungle gym as possible. We took a non-interstate route home, down winding roads, past big McMansions, enjoying the pretty weather and sun.

Once home, I started a new painting for a dear friend, watched my favorite Abbott & Costello movie (The Time of Their Lives) and RELAXED. Are you familar with that word? It was a strange experience for me. I always feel like I should be doing something whilst sitting down, whether that be knitting, folding laundry, etc. But I just sat, relaxed, and watched a movie. It was great. Later that evening we enjoyed the most perfect pork tenderloin I have ever made, accompanied by tiny roasted potatoes and carrots. Also, I figured since we never have a weekend to ourselves, I popped open a bottle of champagne for an aperitif. Yum. Dessert was simple, lovely chocolates with biscotti served with a dessert wine, Moscato. It was so sweet it almost ripped my head off.

Sunday morning was spent at church, dear husband was craving Sonic for lunch, so I succumbed and had my diet cherry limeade fix, along with someother naughty fried things that I am trying to forget.

I don't know what happened to me once I got home. It's like some other woman that was possessed with domestic inclinations invaded my body. I did laundry, I folded said laundry, I made organic wheat bread from scratch, I made chocolate flan for dessert, I cleaned the kitchen, I also painted on my latest commission more. For dinner we had more of the pork tenderloin (which was still so excellent), the pork was accompanied by the lovely potatoes and green beans, with a very nice Pinot Grigio to wash it all down. Dessert was my yummy chocolate flan.

I don't know who that domestic goddess was that invaded my body, but I am now pretty caught up on laundry (dear husband was going to have to go commando if I did not to some), and I had some lovely wheat toast for breakfast. Thank you domestic goddess, thank you.

Weekend Fun

2006-09-15T07:37:00.000-05:00

I cannot begin to tell you how happy I am that this weekend has finally arrived. Because of dear husband's thriving photography business, we have very few weekends off. When we do have the weekend, we try to make the most of it, which sometimes means having no real agenda, and just concentrating on having a pretty time.

So we have this weekend off. Saturday is supposed to be gorgeous and sunny. I am cooking a lovely pork roast for dinner. All I want is to feel the sun on my face, and spend time with my husband doing whatever we please.

Do you folks that live in Nashville realize that if you travel 1/2 hour in practically any direction you can get lost in the country? That is one of the great things about living here. In metropolitan areas, it is standard to drive from one city to the next without realizing it, because the only way of knowing you are in a different city is because there is a welcome sign! If you have not explored the surrounding country, I challenge you to do this weekend. Go to Leipers Fork and walk around the antique shops and tiny houses. Drive along the Natchez Trace. Go to Lynchburg and take a free tour of the Jack Daniels Distillery. The list could go on forever. Pick a direction, and go!

Chicago Part Two

2006-09-13T07:43:00.000-05:00

Okay now I shall tell the tale of our second trip to Chicago. It was over Labor Day weekend, and we had a wedding to shoot on Friday, September 1 in suburban Chicago. The wedding was a breeze. The couple was very laid back, and we were glad to have the business part of our trip over so that we could play the rest of the time. Here's one of the photos......dear husband shot some great stuff!

The week before, when we shot the Polish wedding, the weather was humid and just beastly hot. The weather was polar opposite for this trip. It was in the 70's with a lovely breeze and not a drop of humidity. The sky was turquoise blue. I have never known Chicago weather like that. We always seem to be there when it is unbearably humid, or super cold and snowy.

So Saturday was ours, and we did not have a care in the world. We stayed in downtown, just off Michigan Avenue close to the Burberry store. We did venture in a couple of shops, but it was just a sin to be indoors on such a temperate day, so we took our time, and investigated the overlooked side streets in search of architectural treasures. We were not disappointed. For lunch, we ended up at Pizzeria Due, which is sorta catty cornered to Pizzeria Uno, but is just more charming. Dear husband had the original deep dish, and I had the 4 cheese, because I don't like a lot of meat on pizza. It was super nummy nums.

We walked all over Chicago that day, and at one point wound up lying on the grass at Millennium Park under the shade of an oak tree, just looking at the perfect sky. There were people of all shapes, sizes and ethnicities there, having picnics, studying, playing with children. It was lovely.....that's all I can really say.

I think we must have walked 5 or 6 miles, so we were a bit tired, and headed back to the hotel for a nap before dinner. I usually do not indulge in naps, but dammit I was on vacation!

That evening we had one of the most gorgeous meals I have ever had in my entire life. The restaurant was right next to our hotel, so we didn't have to worry about drinking too much. The restaurant Les Nomades, was exactly what fine dining should be, and everyone should experience at least once in their life. Every single patron was dressed to the nines. Fresh cut flowers were everywhere in big arrangements, impeccable art and furnishings, extremely attentive wait staff, etc. Dinner was five courses, and took three hours. I finished dinner with the most luscious Grand Mariner souffle I have ever consumed. It was like a delicate orange cloud. After coffee, we went back to the hotel to a good night's sleep.

The next morning we were on our way back to Nashville, but our heads were filled with pretty memories of a perfect trip.

Coco's Sick Day

2006-09-12T07:37:00.000-05:00

I was siiiiick all weekend, and on Monday I decided that I had just about enough of a beating from the cooties in my body, so I went to the doctor. After filling out paperwork, getting blood pressure checked, etc., I saw the doctor around 9:30. I then drove myself to the neighborhood Kroger to get my prescriptions filled.

I need to tell you before I go any further in my story that walking, or doing anything involving movement of any kind would make me short of breath, so I shuffled up to the prescription counter, and was told it would be 20 minutes. Fine I think, I’ll pick up some cat food and more chicken soup whilst I’m here. I shuffled my miserable self over to the cat food aisle, and heard my name over the loud speaker, requesting my return to the pharmacy department.

Great…..I was at the point farthest from the counter.

So I went back to the pharmacy, and was told that they could not fill my prescriptions, because they were out of stock on all three items.

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME HOW A PHARMACY RUNS OUT OF AMOXICILLIN? Isn’t that one of the most popular “cillins” out there?

The pharmacist said they had been out for two weeks. Inexcusable. After considering coughing in her general direction, or perhaps licking the handset of her phone, I left sans cat food and sans medicine.

I went across the street to the Walgreens drive thru, dropped off the prescriptions, and decided to get the cat food/chicken soup hook-up at the Wal-Mart Neighborhood Market. Walgreens had told me that my prescriptions should be filled in thirty minutes, so I returned at the appointed time to pick my medicine up.

My prescriptions were not ready. I would have let the expletives fly, but that required precious energy. So, I waited, and approximately 20 minutes later paid and started the short trip home.

By the time I got home it was 11:00. I took my medicine, including my hydrocodone-laced cough syrup (which is so GENIUS) and ate an English muffin. I then crashed out on my comfy couch whilst Mr. Darcy was smoldering on the television.

And today I’m back at work, and totally regret not licking the Kroger pharmacist’s phone handset.

Coco Paints!

2006-09-07T07:33:00.000-05:00

Being the fantastic and fabulous woman that I am, I have many creative pursuits, one of which is painting. A friend commissioned this work. I love it, and don't want to give it away, but I know it will bring my friend great joy, so yay for that!

Anyhoo....here it is.

And now on to my next work!

Oh, and on the malaise front, I now sound like Phoebe in that episode of Friends where she had the "sexy phlegm," except I do not as of yet have an issue with "phlegm," just a really horse voice. Maybe I should take up singing torch songs.

Coco Cough Cough

2006-09-06T07:25:00.000-05:00

Coco's is feeling a bit malaise today friends. My apologies for not blogging earlier to all two of my fans. It's weird. I've been going non-stop for a while now, since I've not only been working at my job, but helping dear husband on the weekends with photo jobs. I have the next two weekends off, and it is as if my body is saying "Hello? Put on the brakes please."

Of course, I will fight fight fight, but I just feel generally icky, nothing full-blown yet, but it's in there somewhere.

It brought to mind Coco's Prescription for Times of Sickness.

1. Have a supply of Puffs Plus with Lotion, oyster crackers, ginger ale and tons of water.
2. Curl up on your bed, preferably with some lovely cough syrup laced with codeine or some other soothing agent.
3. Watch Pride and Prejudice with the hottness that is Colin Firth or someone equally sexy and smoldering. An excellent alternative would be BBC's production of North and South. If you don't know the gorgeous creature that is Richard Armitage, shame on you, and buy it from Amazon immediately. It is so worth it.

So that's it for today. I will return eventually with a pretty tale about my most recent trip to Chicago, and other fun things.

Coco Digs Classic Movies

2006-08-30T07:49:00.000-05:00

Friends - if you solely rely on the AMC channel for old movies (uhhhhh this channel has shown Speed as a "classic") then you are missing out on some great classics. Here's a list of some of my favorites. It is certainly not all inclusive, or in any particular order, but they are just great movies.

To Catch a Thief - the combination of Cary Grant and Grace Kelley in this movie is just irresistible. Edith Head, the grand dame supreme costume designer created some absolutely lovely gowns for Grace Kelley, and the French Riviera locale is breathtaking. Oh yeah....and it's a Hitchcock movie....they don't disappoint.

The Black Swan - This is a swashbuckling movie about pirates in the Caribbean, starring the dashing Tyrone Power (who cares if he doesn't have much range - he's pretty to look at) and Maureen O'Hara. This is not a dark and scary movie, in fact, in this day and age it's pretty campy and fun.

How to Steal a Million - a youngish Peter O'Toole and Audrey Hepburn (how can you not love her) star in this delightful flick. It is about just as the title suggests, and it is non-stop fun. Hepburn was devoted to Givenchy for most of her life, and she is dressed solely in that designer's super mod offerings for this film. Fun fun fun.

Laura - My favorite film noir by far. Directed by Otto Preminger, it stars Gene Tierney (so pretty and real-life crazy) Dana Andrews (hott), and a young Vincent Price (way before he looked macabre). It's a murder mystery that has some great twists!

So go to your local library, put it in your queue on Netflix or buy from that behemoth Amazon. You won't be disappointed!

Coco has Cards!

2006-08-29T07:36:00.000-05:00

Do you know someone that is void of class? Or perhaps you see some tragic fashion victim on the street, and want to help, but don't know how? Maybe you just think my blog is super cool, and you want to spread the word? Well I have a solution for you!

Coco has printed business cards, and is happy to mail a quantity to you if you provide your address via email. You can present a card to a friend in need of style, and simply say "hey....this is a fun blog I thought you'd enjoy." Or, if you see someone wearing white bermuda shorts with VPL (visible panty lines), you can simply say, "hi, you don't know me, but this lady can help you." Whatever. I have a bunch of cards, and I want to help the people. Community service is a good thing folks.

Coco in Chicago

2006-08-28T07:43:00.000-05:00

Coco and Dear Husband were in Chicago this past weekend. Lamentably, it was a short trip, but I am consoled by the fact that I will be back for a longer, pretty time this coming weekend. We shot a Polish Catholic wedding, and I have the following observations and suggestions for anyone ever getting married at any time.

1. If you are getting married in August, in a church, in a town known for beastly humidity, please be sure that said church has air conditioning.

2. It's super great if you are on time for your wedding. For example, the wedding this weekend was set to begin at 1:00 p.m. The bride arrived around 1:10, with church decorations in hand. I could not bear to look at my watch once I saw that the church was about to be festooned in plastic flowers. The procession might have started around 1:30.

I must tell a "Coco is a badass story" now. After the wedding, we took the bridal party around Chicago for pictures. We stopped at a park by Navy Pier, Buckingham Fountain, and da Bean in Millennium Park. Coco was driving so that Dear Husband could egress the car in an expeditious manner. Coco kept pace with the old skool Chicago limo drivers. I bobbed, I weaved, I did just as the limo dewds did, and was not on the receiving end of any honks or flip-offs. Once we got to the reception, the limo driver congratulated me on my driving skills. Coco is one badass mambajahamba.

And now on back to the wedding list.

3. Don't have an outdoor reception in August in Chicago EVER. This couple did. Not only was it mad humid, but naturally the bugs found me delicious. I have been hosing myself in benadryl creme, but still feel like I need to duct tape oven mitts to my hands.

4. The only time it is acceptable to wear black pantyhose is in the late fall or winter. Friends, I saw not one, but TWO guests wearing black pantyhose at the reception. One lady even had open toed shoes on.....I almost swooned from the gruesome sight.

5. On the brighter side, I did see a few absolutely lovely outfits. One young woman in particular looked just stunning. She was wearing a sort of 70's Pucci inspired print dress, very long with a halter top. She complimented the outfit with a fabulous pair of espadrilles, the upper portion being an orange leather. The dress print was black, orange, and white mostly. Her hair was long and brown. I don't recall seeing any accessories, but with such a strong print they were not necessary. She was just stunning. I wish I had a picture to share with you. She looked absolutely perfect for the event.

6. Polish disco music is not good. Just trust me on this one. Don't go there.

We said our goodbyes at 12:30 p.m., and passed out in our hotel room shortly thereafter. We have another wedding in Chicago next weekend, and both the wedding and reception are outdoors. I am so hosing myself in Deep Woods Off for that one.