Coco’s Casual Friday No-No’s

Coco is fine with casual Fridays at businesses, but the word “casual” does not give you license to arrive at work looking like a slob or a whore.

Jeans. Coco knows that sometimes businesses will allow jeans occasionally to raise funds for a charity, or as a fun event every now and then. Said jeans should not have the following adjectives attached to them: ass-crack tight, coin-slot low-riding, torn, thong peeker, or vpl (as in visible panty lines). Jeans should fit well, cover everything, and not induce blindness in your fellow co-workers because you look so nasty.

Baseball cap. Never, ever acceptable. Some ladies wear caps to hide their nasty hair, probably because they didn’t get home from the bar until the wee hours of the morning, or because they rolled out of someone else’s bed. Either way everyone knows you are a whore. Just go home, wash that icky hair, and arrive to work late. At least everyone won’t turn to stone at the site of you, and worker’s compensation claims will be reduced by the simple action of shampooing.

Aberzombie & Follower t-shirts. First of all, they are wrinkled in the store, which means they will be wrinkled on you. Never acceptable to be wrinkled. Secondly, they always have smart-ass or inappropriate themes. So avoid A&F shirts or any similar shirts. We will all call you a whore. Shirts worn at the office should flatter, have good construction, and not expose either your midriff or décolletage. We will call you a whore.

So the moral to this post? Stop dressing like a whore.