What Would Coco Do?

"How many cares one loses when one decides not to be something but to be someone." Coco Chanel

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Location: Nashville, Tennessee, United States

I love the finer things in life, and I love writing. That's why I'm here. Want Coco to review your product? E-mail me at cococares@gmail.com!

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Christmas before Thanksgiving?

Yep. That is the scene in my neighborhood. My neighbors are affectionately called the Southern Stepford Borg ("SSB"). This is because:

1. The inside and outsides of their houses are immaculate at all times.
2. They talk like they ooze magnolia. Seriously who knew that the word "hello" had five syllables?
3. They spawn at an alarming rate. All of them have at least two robot children, and a few of them have three.
4. They are all housewives. I am the only one that works outside of the home.
5. They wear clothing that makes them look like L.L. Bean models.
6. Aaaaannnd the main reason? Resistance is futile y'all. I am sure they want to assimilate me.

So I am the odd one out, and therefore have a moral obligation to make fun of them. My most recent reason to poke fun at them? They have already decorated for Christmas. That's right. There are wreaths, lights and other signs of Christmas already in my neighborhood, and we haven't even celebrated Thanksgiving yet. WTF mates. These SSB robots must need maintenance, because their wiring is just not right. I'm sure on Friday it will be full blown-out Christmas in my 'hood, and they will probably be delivering their hand-stamped holiday cards in short order, along with invitations to their open house parties.

That's cool. I'll go to their parties. I'd really like to find their robot maintenance rooms, and maybe go on a safari for the elusive SSB dust bunny.


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