Coco Can't Spare a Square

Coco does her best to live "green." For example:

1. I always turn off the water flow after wetting my toothbrush.

2. We are switching out our incandescent bulbs for those energy saving ones once they burn out.

3. I use old t-shirts and "quitter" socks as rags for cleaning.

4. Heck, we haven't even turned on our air-conditioner yet. We have been opening windows much to the delight of our cats. The chirping birds are a great source of entertainment for them.

There are more examples, but you get the drift.

And now I must draw the line. Sheryl Crow, who we all should listen to because she is in entertainment, and therefore her word is gospel, says that we should only use a square of toilet paper per sitting.

She is on crack - wow that is funny on multiple levels, but I am getting off track. As human beings, there are certain things that we must have to function and be happy. I have seen Sheryl - she is like a size zero, and has a bony ass. If she is comfortable with one square then fine, rawk on with your bad self, but keep your bony fingers off of my two-ply and keep your ass off my commode.

Mother Nature Vexes Me

Yeah it has been cold. A bunch of clothing from my winter wardrobe is still in rotation. I could not wear anything springy and light on Easter, and I did not wear my Easter bonnet to church thanks to you.

You want to kill the new growth on my trees? Fine.

How's about those sprouting plants from those bulbs I planted with great effort a couple years ago? Mmmkay you saucy minx do your worst.

But don't mess with my weekend. Do you seriously think I will stand for you bringing forth rain and thunderstorms whilst the temperature is 75 degrees? Uh uh Mama, bring forth the sunshine.

I have a Saturday ..... a precious Spring Saturday this weekend where I do not have to shoot a wedding. Dear Husband owns this rather hott car:

I want to sit in the passenger seat with the top down, with a scarf on my head and big sunglasses a la Grace Kelly. I am not keen on staying inside and doing something tragic like catching up on my ::shudder:: laundry.

Don't mess with me Mother Nature. I will find you and cut you. Make with the good weather already.

Nashville is not Nantucket y'all

If you have read past Coco entries, you know that Coco frequents wedding receptions on a regular basis. This past weekend Dear Husband and I did shoot a wedding, and the reception was at a local, super popular, extremely chic watering hole.

The wedding was small and rather casual, and the reception was on a larger scale at the above-mentioned watering hole. I saw people in all states of dress....chic cocktail dresses to jeans on ladies, and suits to shorts and flip-flops on men. Fine.

But I must comment on something I saw on one male guest that almost made me lose my composure, and just laugh out loud. I shall paint the picture.

Blue button-down, long sleeved shirt. Collar not popped. I'm fine so far.

Dark brown loafers, no socks. Uhhhh okay radar still not going off.

Pink seersucker shorts with embroidered whales festooned all over them.

Please allow me to repeat my last statement.

PINK SEERSUCKTASTIC SHORTS WITH FRIGGIN WHALES EMBROIDERED ALL OVER THEM.

I found the following website that offers these vile shorts, and here is a picture of the offensive whales on the offensive seersucker.

This fool wore these shorts to a wedding reception. A WEDDING RECEPTION PEOPLE. Said reception occurred not at a marina, or at a sandy locale, but a trendy bar right here in Music City. Here is a picture of the shorts, but sadly I could not find an example with the tragic fabric and print:

Coco loathes novelty prints of all sorts, but this is just overboard. Men? Would you like women to laugh at you behind your back? Then, by all means, please buy these shorts. We will stare at each other in utter shock, telepathically transmitting the tragedy we cannot believe we are witnessing, and we will consider it payback for the sadist that convinced women that 4 inch platform heels are super comfy and wonderful.

Now I understand that this look is rather popular amongst the moneyed set, but I must remind my gentle readers that Nashville is not Nantucket.