We Entertain Robots

Okay so if you have been a long time reader of my blog, you know that my neighbors are referred to as the Southern Stepford Borg. I have reason to believe that the goings on at my house have been a source of entertainment for their somewhat dull robot days.

Dear Husband works out of the house. He has clients come over all the time. Most of these clients are pretty brides-to-be. The SSB likes to congregate on each others lawns and chit chat, whilst their children run from lawn to lawn and have a grand time. So, they see a stream of ladies enter my house, exit after an hour or two, and then I come home around 6:00, do the obligatory wave, and enter the house.

They must think that there are a-doings transpiring in my house. This makes me chuckle, as it does Dear Husband, and I think it would be grand if we upgraded the entertainment value. If the SSB collective is not stimulated from time to time, they will never learn and become more human-like. Dear Husband and I have talked about the following possibilities.

1. Have a friend come over with her hair up, and then upon leaving ask her to take her hair down and toss it around so that it looks a bit disheveled.

2. Any sort of clothing adjustment on the porch.

3. A squirt or two of binaca after ringing the doorbell.

If we are not going to join the collective, we might as well entertain them.

The Promise of a Pretty Weekend

Dear Husband and I have a wedding to shoot in Gatlinburg, Tennessee. I have been to Gatlinburg once, and although the company I was with was wonderful, I found that Gatlinburg itself was wayyyyy to touristy for my taste. So, when I heard that we were shooting a wedding out there in a chapel, I honestly did not know what to expect. I wasn't sure if said chapel was going to be some tragic redneck take on a Las Vegas chapel, but I was pleasantly surprised when Dear Husband forwarded me pictures of the venue.


Sorry that the image is so small, but it was the only one I could paste onto my entry. Seriously y'all, trust me when I say it could not be cuter if it was stacked to the rafters with kittens and puppies.



We are staying in a big cabin a short distance from the cabin with friends, the leaves are just starting to turn, the weather should be perfect, and Dear Husband is driving The Hott Car out there.



Did I ever tell you just how fabulous I look in this car? I already have a great pair of sunglasses, so now all I need is a gorgeous scarf (oh Hermes you will be mine some day) and I will look chic a la Grace Kelly (except with brown hair). On Sunday, we will tour the winding roads, including some of the Blue Ridge Parkway.

The promise of a pretty weekend.

Hepped Up on Goofballs or something

Y'all I feel crazy.....like Britney Spears tied up in a sack with a pound of chicken-fried bacon crazy. I feel like I could type 100 words a minute straight out of my brain. Of course it would not be readable to anyone that did not understand gibberish, but it would be characters on a page.

I took a short lunch because I could not stand the thought of sitting quietly at my desk, reading a book, which is what I usually do at lunch. After eating, I went straight back to work, and did my filing.

You must understand something about me and filing. Filing is never done unless it is absolutely necessary - mostly so that I do not injure myself or others. Filing is done when the pile reaches an unholy and architecturally unsound height (bonus if said filing forms a meniscus).

Y'all I took a short lunch to do filing. Unheard of. Why did I do this?

I had a Diet Coke. I feel like I am hepped up on goofballs (you are super awesome if you get my reference by the way). I have been sans all forms of caffeine for well over a month. No tea, coffee, chocolate, carbonated drinks.....nothing.

But I really neeeeeeeded it today. I barely slept last night and my lunch was extremely lackluster, so I cracked one open.

Damn it was some sweet nectar, but yeah I feel like a crazy woman.....and therefore I blog.

The Tudors

Apparently some folks in the U.K. are getting their knickers in a twist about the Showtime series The Tudors. They say that King Henry the Eighth would not have looked like Jonathan Rhys-Myers (um not many do - SWOON), the plotline had to be "dumbed down" for American viewers, and there are glaring anachronisms in the production (non-period coaches, radiators, asphalt).



Lemme 'splain something to y'all across the pond.


1. No one wants to see a carbon copy of Henry the Eighth on the screen. We've seen portraits of him in later life. Granted, he was not as portly in his early years, but I can't think of too many leading men that rock the red hair. He was not as pretty as Jonathan Rhys-Myers....so we shall keep him. Oh hi pretty boy....



2. Okay so the characters are referenced by easy to recognize names for us Americans. That does annoy me a bit, because I am a history buff, and consider The Wives of Henry VIII by Antonia Fraser to be one of my favorite books. I wish people would read more and be generally smarter, but alas I don't think that's going to happen any time soon with all the cable channels and video games that occupy so many hours of American free time.

3. Regarding the anachronisms - asphalt can easily be covered by dirt. A radiator can be covered by furniture or a really spectacular shot of Jonathan Rhys-Myers ass, so that no one even notices the anachronism. Someone was not doing their job. They obviously need to include more gratuitous ass shots in the production.

Y'all just need to get a pint at the pub and chill.

Purse Porn

My two whole faithful readers know that I have much love for Stein Mart. They have the bestest accessories, wonderful sales, and sometimes I score some really cute boob shirts. Y'all know what I'm talking about, so don't lie to yourself.

Anyhoooooo I'm getting off topic. When I am need of new purses, I always hit the 'Mart, and am never disappointed. This time I scored a faboo Franco Sarto bag. It is exactly like this picture, except in a lovely shade of olive green.

The best part was the price. After sales discount and 20% coupon for being a preferred customer (sale whore), the purse was $10.

Y'all I said $10 for a designer purse! I also got two more bags, one in a pretty ivory and another in a milk chocolate brown leather (not designer but extremely fab) for $10 each as well. Man oh man I heart a good deal, and my random things-I-can't-live-without are happy in their new home.

Oh the extreme joy in my heart - this calls for a haiku:

I go to the 'Mart
On safari for new purse
I see you and grab.

Shoppers eye you
Wishing you were in their hands
Step off it is mine.

They try to find same
Alas you were only one
Heh I win loser.

A Letter that Won't Be Read

Dear Creepy Sketchy Dewd that Likes to Ambush:


Oh hi hello. I'm the person that parks in the garage on the alley. The only way to get to my office is to use said alley, and I understand that you live there, and you have the right to talk to whomever you want, and go wherever you please. I'm cool with that - really.


That doesn't mean that I have to talk to you Creepy Sketchy Dewd.


You and I both know there are plenty of nooks and crannies where a person can hide, and wait in loquatious ambush for some unsuspecting soul. I remember that one time I turned the blind corner, and you were there and tried to engage me in conversation....which was all one sided on your part, and I got the honk away as soon as I can. No, I didn't really want to hear about the blow-up doll that your sketchy friends got you for your birthday. Did I mention that you are just plain creepy?


I don't know your situation, just as you don't know mine. I do not know how you will react if I tell you to back the frack off, since you live there and I have to pass by you when you are lurking about. So, I shall employ my sketch-warding off tactic, which is to pretend that I am engaged in conversation on the phone, and therefore you will have no opportunity to engage me in conversation.

Margaritas and Mod Music

I don't want to tell you about this. I want to keep it a secret, but I don't think it is really much of a secret considering the robust number of people that were in attendance last night.

Do you like Mexican food? Of course you do!

Do you dig the Beatles? Who doesn't?

Y'all need to check out The WannaBeatles. They perform bi-monthly at The Mexicali Grill, which is where I saw them last night. I cannot begin to tell you how much fun I had. Okay yes.....I had many margaritas under my belt, but it was so much fun singing along to all of those wonderful songs, performed by fabulous musicians, whilst eating my chips and salsa.

British music in a Mexican restaurant? You betcha it goes together! America is a great melting pot.....embrace the meltyness. And now I am thinking of queso.....oh and another margarita.